What defines a man in your eyes? To some, it’s having the strength to navigate the confusing space that is our world. To others, it’s having the maturity to admit one’s faults or shortcomings. And to others still, it’s being able to change a flat tire.
Tomi Lahren, political commentator from The Blaze, is one of the most well-known and controversial commentators in the country today. The fact that the majority of her content is used on social media means that her words have the potential to reach millions who otherwise wouldn’t be interested enough to research news. Because of this, someone like Ms. Lahren can have an incredible amount of influence over people’s perceptions of the world, so when she calls out an entire gender, people should take notice.
I came across a post Lahren made a few months ago. The subject matter hit so close to home that I felt compelled to write. In the video, Lahren attacks today’s young men, calling them “soft” before going deeper into why men just aren't men these days. However, as one of these men, I'm here to tell you Lahren’s reasoning is extremely flawed. Let's break this down, point by point, shall we?
“This has nothing to do with sexuality. It has to do with the helplessness of today’s young men. It seems few can change a light bulb let alone fix a flat tire or change oil, and that makes for pretty slim pickings for the females out there looking for a match.”
First of all, Lahren is right in saying sexuality has nothing to do with this. It does have everything to do with gender roles. Being able to change a flat tire shouldn’t separate the men from the boys, but the most appalling thing about this statement is the hypocrisy that comes with it. According to Lahren, women need their men to be able to do these things if men are to have any shot of landing one of these “strong women”. If today’s men are helpless because they can’t change a tire, what does that make the women that expect to just have it done for them, simply because they’re not a man? Furthermore, since this is part of the male identity, are we also supposed to shame women who do know how to change a tire? Or are they just part of this group of "strong women" that Lahren approves of? Moving on…
“It seems like millennial men either don’t have jobs or are still using their parents’ credit cards to buy us drinks at the bar…”
Next is Lahren’s outlook on millennial men’s ability to find work. There’s two big problems with this statement. First of all, Lahren is right in saying many millennial men don't seem to have a job, but that's because millennials in general struggle with unemployment. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, millennials continue to be one of the most unemployed demographics in the U.S. Glossing over a major issue such as this one by making it about masculinity only makes the problem worse. Secondly, if a woman doesn't like how her drink is paid for, she can buy her own. And finally…
“See, a real man knows how to handle a strong woman, so this isn’t our problem. Maybe it’s the way boys are raised these days: fatherless homes and no male role models. It’s hard to learn how to be a man with no man around.”
Again, Lahren takes an issue affecting all millennials and makes it specifically about masculinity. More than 20 million children live in a home without the physical presence of a father. This is a nationwide epidemic of sorts that affects children of all classes, races, and yes, even gender. While it’s very true that it’s difficult to grow up as a young boy without a father, there are sure to be plenty young women out there who have it just as hard without their fathers around.
To wrap everything up, it is important to remember that issues like these effect many more people than just one specific group. Generalizing the definition of manhood to revolve around trivial things like changing a flat or killing a spider is wrong, especially for someone with such a great influence. What someone defines as a “real man” or as a “strong woman” is up to them -- but there’s certainly more to it than what Tomi Lahren may have you believe.
