As some of my friends know, I am a huge gamer and love to watch other gamers on YouTube. VanossGaming and Markiplier are by far my two favorite gaming channels out there. In the past two weeks I have been on a quest to catch up on nine months worth of YouTube videos with Markiplier (thus far I am seven months deep). And I will say that watching Mark's channel has made me more happy in the past couple of months than binge watching anything on Netflix or Hulu.

I have truly missed watching Mark's channel since Christmas but now that I can watch him again I have laughed so much. His jokes are a range from a chuckle to a I-m-crying-so-hard-that-I-cannot-breathe laugh. Some of the horror games make me scream and laugh at the same time. Even the not even a minute long videos I stop to watch because even then they are just magical.

I cannot describe what I am watching really, you just feel this small little feeling in the bottom of your heart and it slowly warms your entire body. It honestly feels like their is magic in every video.

I do not believe that I was able to get through these past few weeks of college, which were filled with unwanted drama, stress, and my continuing sense of overwhelming depression. My friends, boyfriend, and family have been a major part in keeping me motivated and happy. But when it came to watching these videos that seemed really dumb to others it was a way for me to get in a little bit of a laugh every day.

When I was felt my depression hitting me really hard I just sat back and honestly thought that it will not get better than this. I brought up Markiplier and watched some videos for awhile and overtime I felt a change. I felt genuinely better and happier after watching him being his goofy self. I watched the video where some of his fans made him a game and at the end there was an important moral of the story that everyone is important and that being happy is one of the most important things. There were letters written to Mark about how he changed their lives and I started to cry when he went into his speech about how lucky he was to change so many lives because I felt so connected to him in that moment that I knew I was not alone.

My absolute favorite quote from him is as follows: "I do not want you guys to feel abandoned in any way. You're not alone. Especially those of you who are in the darkest parts of your life right now. You are not alone in anything that you have done."

Now when I sit back and I think of all of the people who I know genuinely care about me, friends, family, co-workers, I can add one other person to my list of people.

Thank you so much Markiplier for what you do. Do not stop doing what you do. You matter to every one who watches you on a daily basis. You matter to the people who are in the lightest and in the darkest parts in their lives. Never stop smiling.

(Also if this ever makes its way to you I am so happy it did!)