Here you have it, a "Marist College Urban Dictionary: Nightlife Edition":
Marist
Notorious for being "that rich white kid school" in the heart of sketchy Poughkeepsie. Not all, but most students are either: kids who were popular and jerks in high school, fashion majors, proud owners of bags that cost a year's worth of tuition, Long Islanders who torment everyone on campus who isn't from Nassau or Suffolk about how much better their bagels, coffee, and "lives in general" are, or all of the above. Everyone has had a fake ID since the age of 15, either drives a Wrangler or wants one, and drinks way too much for going to a school not even notorious for its parties.
"I called Matt before to catch up, and he said he couldn't talk because he was going to the bar, but like -- it's a Tuesday..?"
"Oh yeah, they do that at Marist."
Darby's
Interchangeable with the phrase "Friday night." A little pub in a surprisingly not sketchy area, which despite the broken glass, limp-bodied dancing freshmen, and horrible wait at the bar, people LOVE. Even though it's mainly freshmen and sophomores, upperclassmen frequently attend to maintain their youth and get ratchet in a casual setting. If you're not feeling the music, don't worry -- take a seat at the booth and order yourself some wings or fries; but be warned: everyone will want some. Also, you are GUARANTEED to get thrown up on at least once in your four years here -- either on the way to Darby's, AT the bar, or on the way home. That is a promise. Karaoke nights are always a nice excuse to go out Mondays, too.
"Yeah bro, she was so bad last night, she even got denied from Darby's."
River
THURSDAYS. Welcome to River, where if you don't leave basically before night class ends, the line is around the block. Out of all the bars, the River line is by far the most brutal. When it's a nice night out, basically all of Marist rallies and uses the temperature as an excuse to get obliterated on a Thursday. If you feel like being personally victimized by a mediocre DJ, River is the place to go! If you're lucky, he'll even throw a t-shirt at you on which he hand-writes vulgar, degrading slurs on! On the plus side, the drinks are strong, the people all want to have a good time, and you're guaranteed to have stories in the morning.
"They cut off the line at River...it was around the block, should we just go to Palace?"
Palace
Where everyone spent WAY too much money freshmen year. Yes, it's fair to say Marist students, regardless of their year, spend too much money on this moderately crappy diner food, BUT we all know we went too much freshmen year. Normally you go after the bar, or instead of the bar if you're either denied or the line's too long. Comes in handy for those nights spent in when you wanted to "save money" too.
"I really just want to take my heels off and get a milkshake from Palace."
Union
Oh, where to start. Right in the city, real lovely neighborhood. Insanely, disgustingly packed on Saturdays, but amazing on Tuesdays -- if you're into beer (and going out on Tuesdays in general). If you go on a Saturday, you will wait in line for an hour and need your Marist ID at the door -- DON'T forget the second form, doesn't matter if you're really 21. If you're a chick, it's an easy 40 minute wait to use the bathroom, and you're guaranteed to see someone you know being violently thrown out by a bouncer.
"Tower Tuesday last night was rough, must be a Union thing...."
VIP
Notoriously where athletes and girls who think they're way better than everyone else prance around and take Snap Stories of the people below them at Union. We've all been up there at some point -- yes, it's fun. Take your Snapchat and come down like the rest of us and actually enjoy yourself.
"I didn't even see her last night, was she at Union?"
"Yeah, but she was in VIP the whole time."
Mahoney's
It's a respect thing. You don't go here until it's your turn and you're actually legal. Supposedly a great time; I'll let you know in a year how it is.
"I can't go to Mahoney's! My ID sucks!!"
Joe
One of Marist's infamous cab drivers. 10/10 great dude. If you ask him to put on his music, you will not regret it. If he likes you, it's a $2 ride and he'll stop almost anywhere you ask him to. Joe loves Marist. Marist loves Joe. Simple.
"Did anyone call Joe!? The line at Union is around the block hurry up!!! Does anyone also have two dollars I can borrow I don't want to break my 20?"
Catalina Wine Mixer
A day drink Marist students get WAY too excited over and invested in. An opportunity every spring for Marist students to connect with their inner preppy-frat boy and drink wine out of a bag at 10 AM in boat shoes and either Vineyard Vines or Lilly Pulitzer. 8/10 Instagram captions will be "IT'S THE FUCKIN CATALINA WINE MIXER" and the other 2/10 will probably just be emojis. This day drink is always highly anticipated, but is always shut down in an hour -- two tops.
"I just bought a $200 Lilly dress -- the Catalina Wine Mixer better not get shut down twenty minutes after I get there."
Jock Jams
The Catalina Wine Mixer, but in the fall semester; swap the preppy clothes for your nicest pair of neon spandex, replace the wine with beer, and add athletes.
"If I go to Union right after Jock Jams and I'm only wearing Nike pros and a sports bra, will I get denied....?'
