If you haven't been living under a rock for the past approximate 48 hours, then you have either heard about or seen Mariah Carey's performance on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve. The performance aired in the last precious twenty minutes of 2016, just when we had thought that we had made it out of this year with only some cuts and bruises. It was at about 11:40pm that 2016 made its last impact on all of us, when it delivered the technical mess that Carey's "live" performance. I won't take the time to recap it for you, it's too painful. I will say however, that Mariah completely topped and shattered her live mic feed of "All I Want For Christmas" at Rockefeller Center not too long ago. This may sound like I care about that fact that Carey obviously chose to lip sync again, however I am holding no such grudge. Rather, I am here to provide you with a bedazzled scroll listing my reactions to this Carey-catastrophe.
1. When she stood surrounded by feathers.
[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F01%2F01%2F636189065775745029180947411_YES_GAAWD.gif.29e96e553be44fe9f3235e52f286b828.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=509&h=5ef817787a6a444554247047905891d8541e4e2a3d895eb8bb45bc832b27fa25&size=980x&c=3270401822 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F01%252F01%252F636189065775745029180947411_YES_GAAWD.gif.29e96e553be44fe9f3235e52f286b828.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D509%26h%3D5ef817787a6a444554247047905891d8541e4e2a3d895eb8bb45bc832b27fa25%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3270401822%22%7D" expand=1]
2. When she told the guys, "just walk me down."
3. Her "Happy New Year" speech.
4. Her explaining that they didn't have a soundcheck for this song.
5. When she reminded you that it did go to #1 on the charts.
[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F01%2F01%2F6361890711896726001032346305_tenor.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=632&h=a03c8a4cf8cb4094a548935019c1f3e4793c43ac248a0c536b52fbf2061727aa&size=980x&c=2999011143 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F01%252F01%252F6361890711896726001032346305_tenor.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D632%26h%3Da03c8a4cf8cb4094a548935019c1f3e4793c43ac248a0c536b52fbf2061727aa%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2999011143%22%7D" expand=1]
6. Her trying to find her place in the song and start singing.
7. When you heard those recorded whistle tones.
8. Her putting the microphone to the audience.
9. "Get these monitors on, please!"
10. Her dancers doing THE MOST.
[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F01%2F01%2F636189077088942762-960276258_1310335301174127.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=533&h=25bc127e6799e8b87b5f8f4141ed07055eef8540451e7e528781f558431787f5&size=980x&c=2560771154 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F01%252F01%252F636189077088942762-960276258_1310335301174127.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D533%26h%3D25bc127e6799e8b87b5f8f4141ed07055eef8540451e7e528781f558431787f5%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2560771154%22%7D" expand=1]
11. The awkward "lift" where she began to riff in her lower register.
12. When she asked if she could have her own holiday and said she was being a good sport.
13. The transition into "We Belong Together"...the "album" version.
14. Her singing a second behind the track.
[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F01%2F01%2F636189082544614726937037543_post-29071-this-is-much-worse-gif-The-Ave-lD13.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=596&h=55a22f7150c99362ee2ea07970ff4209365ee6da88cad0df90ca5637f6e25c2a&size=980x&c=2229416628 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F01%252F01%252F636189082544614726937037543_post-29071-this-is-much-worse-gif-The-Ave-lD13.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D596%26h%3D55a22f7150c99362ee2ea07970ff4209365ee6da88cad0df90ca5637f6e25c2a%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2229416628%22%7D" expand=1]
15. When she stopped caring and put the mic down.
16. Her attempting to walk off as the confetti came down.
[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F01%2F01%2F636189086185651295114057284_jWaob.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=291&h=b64a1b32bde765031889ad7994f39d56b9dcdc45db59656635162bb4a0664682&size=980x&c=2978067520 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F01%252F01%252F636189086185651295114057284_jWaob.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D291%26h%3Db64a1b32bde765031889ad7994f39d56b9dcdc45db59656635162bb4a0664682%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2978067520%22%7D" expand=1]
time-lapse photography of river
Photo by 
body of water during daytime
Photo by 
Empire State building
Photo by 
water falls in the middle of green trees
Photo by 
