Growing up, you meet many new people and go to new places. When you meet these people in these places, how open are you about your life and your secrets? In my case, I’m not always very open with people. I keep secrets, although none too serious. It kind of makes me feel like I’m wearing a different face depending on where I am. (Hence the “Many Faces of Fred” cover image from Scooby Doo.)
Up until the summer before middle school, I lived in Lansing, Michigan. For those 12 years I didn’t have a very large amount of friends, so it was easy to be honest and open with everyone. On top of that, I was only 12. What secrets was I supposed to have when my friends had been around my entire life, thus having the knowledge of pretty much everything in my life. In relation to the present day, I haven’t talked to most of my Lansing friends very often. Occasionally we chat on Facebook, but we don’t really have deep conversations.
My middle school friends, though, I still talk to quite a bit. Well, okay, I only really talk to four of them frequently, but still. This was the point in my life when I started keeping more “secrets.” None of them were bad necessarily, but I never really talked about my life in Lansing with this group of friends that was sort of hard to make because I was so shy. Now that I think about it, my shyness probably had something to do with it.
My group of friends in high school was pretty much the same as it was in middle school, with a few people going in and out of my life. Most of them still didn’t (and still don’t) know much about life in Lansing, but what secrets am I going to keep about middle school since we all went through it together? But a lot of drama happens in high school (and eighth grade, but I’m focusing on high school now). Boyfriends and girlfriends get more serious. People start to experiment with drugs and alcohol, regardless of how old they are.
I’ve never tried any drugs or alcohol, and I’ve been single all my life so these things don’t necessarily apply to me, but I will admit that some of my friends were doing things that I didn’t approve of even though I couldn’t control their actions. I was still a relatively quiet kid and my friends trusted me so they would tell me things that they’ve done and then I would keep the secrets. It’s not that big of a deal to me, but it feels like I’m being dishonest sometimes.
By no means am I saying that any of me is fake. I'm just trying to show that I'm a slightly different person based on where I am and who I'm with. I want to be as real as I can with everyone I know, but I have to work on being less closed off. It's a process that I think I'm making progress on, though it will take some time. So if you're ever talking to me, feel free to ask questions about my life. I don't know how good my answer will be, but I will be honest and hopefully you'll have a better idea of who I am. I’m also sorry that this article probably sounded a little scatterbrained. In all honesty, I could have said so much more on this topic like about work, home and college, but I didn’t want the article to be too long. Again, if you have questions, feel free to ask.
