As of late, I’ve been experiencing high volumes of stress due to the increase of tension in my building. I live on campus with a cluster of like-minded individuals. During the first couple of weeks of fall semester, everyone in my building got along like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We were in a blissful state, so we had mutual respect for one another. We began to form unified bonds. But as the weeks went by, the stresses of the semester kicked in, and the tensions began to rise. I found myself struggling with drama that had absolutely nothing to do with me. The drama began piling up and it started to take a toll on me. So, I took a step back and reevaluated a few things. These are some of the steps that I came up with. You can take these steps in order to prevent being sucked into the drama that surrounds you.
Don't Believe Everything You Hear
Gossip floats around, no matter how old you are. Just like the game of telephone, as the message gets passed along through different people, it changes. People are apt to interpret certain situations differently. How they see something go down may not necessarily be the way it happened. Instead of taking everything you hear as fact, take it with a grain of salt instead. Seek out the facts and form your own opinion.
If Confronted with Beef, Squash It
If you're confronted about an issue and you ignore it, it will linger in the air. You're already stressed enough about school, you don't need tension hanging over your head. It is best to resolve the conflicts you have with someone face to face. Using any form social media to resolve any issues will leave room for misinterpretations. Take initiative and squash the beef while you can, you know, before it gets out of hand.
Spend Some Time Outside of Your Dorm
While it's important to form bonds with those you live with, it is equally as important to separate yourself from where you live. Most students feel like they're being suffocated if they stay in their dorms for too long. I'm one of those students. It will be beneficial for you to find a balance between your home away from home, and yourself. Try discovering new things about yourself through hobbies, hidden talents, etc.
When Fights Arise, Don't Pick Sides
Let's say a verbal fight breaks out in your dorm: whose side do you take? If the fight that’s causing tension has absolutely nothing to do with you, do not pick sides. Better yet, don't get involved, period. The further away you stay away from the drama, the less effect it has on you. By not taking sides the people arguing a chance to focus on the main issue at hand, and not wonder which one of their friends is taking their side.
Don't Hold Grudges
People get into arguments and/or disagreements all the time. Try to keep in mind that we're all stressed. Everyone has a battle they're fighting, whether you know about it or not. College is a new experience for all of us. So if you get into a fight with a roommate, or building neighbor, it's OK. Try to move on and don't hold grudges. You'll feel less tension once you let go.
So What Now?
The unfortunate part of encountering drama in the dorms is the fact that you live there, making it a lot more difficult to get away from. After utilizing these steps, I was able to separate myself from the drama and focus on what I needed to do in order to achieve my goals. I found myself being able to breathe a lot easier. With the help of these simple steps, maybe you can breathe easier, too.
