I think respect is one of the most important things when it comes to a relationship. I define respect as more than just opening a door for someone or pushing their chair in for them. It is more than having proper manners when you are out in public. It is more than shaking a person's hand when you greet them. Respect is more.

In my most recent relationship, respect was a big issue. It took me a little while to really put this together in my mind. I was blissfully unaware at the time we were dating that I felt this way. Maybe it was because I was in love. Maybe it was because when he kissed me, everything felt right. Maybe it was because I thought I was going to marry this boy.

Now that I've had some time to think about what happened to me and how I really feel about it, I'm ready to share it with the world. I want everyone to know who you are, and I want everyone to know what respect ISN'T. So, here you go.

To the "man" who broke me, Thank you. Thank you for showing me what a good relationship isn't. Deep within my love-crazed daze for you, I discovered a few things.

First, I should have known something was up when you chose your ex-girlfriend/best friend over me. Constantly. I understand that new girlfriend does not replace best friend, but I felt threatened. I felt jealous. I felt insecure. And knowing that, you decided to keep doing what you were doing with her regardless of how uncomfortable I felt. If you respected me, you would have compromised just a little bit.

Speaking of compromise, you never made time for me. There was always an excuse. Whether it was homework or the gym or other friends, I was never a priority to you. That is one thing about relationships: your significant other IS a priority in your life. Maybe not your only priority, but a pretty big one. And an important one. Making time for the people we love is respect. That should have never been an issue.

I don't ask for much, but one of the things I did ask for was phone calls. I really don't think it's too much to ask for a phone call before bed. Not only did you not call me, EVER, you wouldn't even pick up when I called. Whether it was the middle of the day on my break at work or at night driving home, all I wanted was to hear your voice. Even for two minutes. If you really respected me, you would have at least picked up.

And while we are on the topic of phones, you had the audacity to break up with me over text message. Are we back in middle school? Wow. And the reason? You didn't love me "the same way", you were "too busy for me", and you "were never ready for a relationship". This would have been nice to know three days before when we were on a date and you faked your emotions through the whole thing. You could have spared me that last day we had together if you were feeling this way. Or, you know, spared me the whole relationship? Since you claim you were never ready. The would have been the respectful thing to do.

Clearly your definition of respect was very different than mine. Or maybe you just didn't care. I'm not really sure. After all of this, I was lost and confused. I didn't know what went wrong. I thought it was me. I thought I was the one you did something. But I know now that I am better off without you.

Don't ever let someone tear you down or make you feel small. Don't stay in a relationship if you are disrespected. Don't give that person your time of day, because you are worth so much more than that. You are worth everything. Don't let anyone take that away from you.

I respect myself, and I will never settle for less than what I deserve again.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who is Still Standing