To The Man Who Got The Warning Signs And Decided To Stay

To The Man Who Got The Warning Signs And Decided To Stay

You read “To The Next One Who Decides To Date Me” and yet you still want me.
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To You,

I honestly did not know that you would stay. I have had people coming in and out of my life on a constant and I would not have been surprised if it was the same with you. I held a wall up every time we saw each other, every time you looked at me and you noticed but it did not push you away. It just made you curious.

I intrigued you, you wanted to know why I am the way that I am and who changed me. As of right now, I still have part of my wall up, but every day that I am with you, it gets chipped away.

I want you to know that life is not rainbows and gumdrops and even though you look at me now like I am the most perfect girl in the world, I am anything but perfect. There will be days when you are frustrated with me, there will be days that we do not talk. It will suck, I know, but being attached at the hip is not the best thing either.

My life was pretty good without you and it can still stand alone. You are falling for a girl who can stand on her own two feet, who can buy her own Taco Bell and can drive your car without crashing it. I do not know what your last girlfriend did and frankly, I do not care.

Obviously something went wrong or you would not be with me right now, sitting on my bed. I will learn from her mistakes as you will learn from my exes’ mistakes. That is a factor as to what will make us great.



When I look into your eyes, I can see so much wonder, so much interest and so much life and I am excited to take this path with you and learn so much more. I warned you about how I will constantly ask questions. I am a journalist, what did you expect? You talk about your future all the time and sometimes you mention me in it and that brings butterflies to me but it can also be a bit scary.

I want to thank you for giving us such hope, even when sometimes its not realistic. I am the negative one out of the two of us and it is refreshing to hear your plans of life. I want to thank you for all the hugs you have given me, all the thigh rubs and words of encouragement even when you knew I messed up.

You are my friend. Always and forever and when you read this letter, I hope you know how much more you mean to me. You told me you’d never let me go, well now is the time to prove it.

Cover Image Credit: Deb Greengold

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To The Girl Who's Still Crying Over the Guy She Never Dated

We've all been there, you never really dated but you might as well have...
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We’ve all been there. Every single one of us. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have been where you are; so let me just say, you’re not alone. No matter if your friends are the best people in the world, I’m sure they’ve had enough of your sadness over a boy who you were never really with. But that’s what’s scary, it feels like you were together. No matter the amount of time, maybe a month, maybe a year, no matter what, you had enough time to gain feelings for another person and be vulnerable; and that in itself is a tough pill to swallow. Now, the one person you thought would never hurt you, did just what they promised they wouldn’t do, and now you’re left putting the pieces of your life back together.

Enough of the sappy stuff. Let me tell you that life goes on. Whether over a boy, or a grade, or whatever it is, I have always told my friends, “You’re going to make it to tomorrow.” And although it seems like the hardest feat you’ve ever endured, you are going to make it to tomorrow. And then, you’re going to make it to the next day. So it may seem that the day you end things with the boy you thought you were going to be with, is the worst day in the world, you are going to make it to tomorrow.

But even though you are going to make it to tomorrow, that doesn’t mean the situation doesn’t suck. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cry. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be afraid or feel weird going to the bar you once loved, or the restaurant you guys would go to a lot, or the most common place to study on campus, in fear of seeing him. All of those feelings of uncertainty are totally normal, and in time, it will fade.

My friend once told me, this too shall pass.

So while you’re sad, or crying, or complaining about this boy, your friends might be telling you, “Get over it, you were never really together.” But I promise, it may take a while (seemingly forever), and as hard as it may be to believe right now, you will make it to tomorrow, and this too shall pass. Remember that.

With love from,

The girl who knows what it's like to have to get over the boy she never dated

Cover Image Credit: onehdwallpaper

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4 Signs That You Might Be A Pushover In Your Relationship

There's a fine line between being considerate and overly-accommodating in a relationship, here are some signs to help you determine which side of the line you're on.

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While most of us consider ourselves independent individuals who are secure enough to maintain our own values while respecting someone else's, the difference between being flexible and completely bending to a romantic partner's will can be a slippery slope.

Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that everything the two of you disagree on suddenly disappears. There are times when you'll have to occasionally make concessions in order to reach a solution, but you should never be the one to relent every on every issue. If you're not sure about how you stand in your relationship here are few signs that you may be a dating pushover.

1. You let them set the pace of the relationship

It can be hard to know if things are moving at a normal speed, especially if you're new to relationships. If you feel like things are moving too quickly or like the two of you aren't on the same page and choose to ignore it because the other person is content with where you are, then you're not giving your own feelings enough consideration. A relationship is not just about one person's emotions, disregarding the ones you're unsure about to avoid making waves doesn't make you peacekeeper, it makes you a pushover.

2. Your lack of an opinion is replaced by theirs

It's okay not to have an opinion on every issue plaguing our society at the moment, but it's not okay to allow your partner to declare a stance for you. If you're having a conversation with friends and politics are being broached and your S/O prefaces their statement with "We think," -knowing darn well that you don't have anything to say about Trump's administration and they think he's the best thing since Netflix started streaming "Friends"- and you don't interject with your true feelings, then you've just let them know that their preferences are more important than yours.

3. You conform to the way they see you

People are multifaceted and complex beings. While Tinder may ask you to describe yourself by a handful of defining characteristics to better match you with a mate, you are more than just "quiet" and "indoorsy". If you find yourself with someone who reduces you to labels that complement them, chances are that the more you're around them the more you'll start to only identify yourself by those labels as well. When you conform to the 2-dimensional image that someone else has of you, you lose parts of your identity and become a social chameleon.

4. You alter your dreams to fit into theirs

It's exciting to picture your life with someone you care and are serious about. Of course, you have to make some configurations in order for things to work for the both of you, but there has to be an equal amount of compromise for it to be healthy. If you're working towards a degree that would open doors for you to meet new people and have new experiences but your S/O has dreams to get settled sooner rather than later and makes you feel like you're overreaching in your life, don't abandon your vision for something that would fit into theirs.

Being a pushover does not mean you're a weak person. I don't think anyone sets out with the intent to be a chameleon dater. Sometimes it happens gradually, two people start off in a relationship thinking that they're compatible and then one person grows more comfortable and their will and opinions turn out to be stronger than the other persons'. Other times, you just make a poor judgment call and try to make things work with someone that wasn't meant for you.

If you find yourself to be a pushover in your relationship and you're unhappy about it, you can change. Take some time to learn about yourself and figure out what you want and who you want to be. You can't choose someone who really loves you and values your mind if you don't know how you need to be loved and understood. Whether you need a to step away from the dating scene, have a conversation with your romantic partner or even take a break from them, understanding yourself will strengthen all of your relationships in the long run.

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