Today I was driving to work like I do any other day, listening to the Rise Guys Morning Show on one of my favorite rock stations (listen in at http://www.933theplanetrocks.com/), not having a care in the world. But that's when I heard something that infuriated me beyond all measure.
You see, a guy from Pickens, SC called in asking for advice. He sounded so sad as he explained that he's supposed to be getting married tomorrow to a woman he has been engaged to for two years. The dilemma was that he "loves his fiancee, but loves other women too."
Well, the hosts of this show questioned the man and said, "You mean, you love another woman?" To this, the man replied, "I love many women."
By this point, the show's hosts were extremely confused and asked, "Okay, so what women do you love?" I guess they assumed that there were many women in this man's life, but instead he responded with (and I quote), "Skinny ones, long ones, flabby ones, all of them."
Yes, you read that right.
So by this point, I'm furious, and I'm desperately hoping that these show hosts are going to tell him exactly what he needs to do. What they told him to do was to "break off the engagement."
Okay, sure, he's not ready for marriage and clearly, the woman is better off without him. However, I would've given him some slightly different advice. This is what I am here to say to this man now:
Yes, you should break off the engagement to this poor girl. When you break it off, you need to be direct and tell her that the whole reason you're doing this is that you want to look at other women for the rest of your life. It'll hurt, but she deserves answers so that she may find closure.
Furthermore, you need to pay all of the wedding costs. You did this to her when her family spent THOUSANDS of dollars to make it the most perfect day of her life. If you were going to wait all this time to end things, you should at LEAST pay for the wedding. I don't care if it puts you in debt. It probably did the same to them.
After you break off the engagement, there are some things you must rightfully expect. First, expect her to be angry. She might yell, cuss, throw things, whatever but those reactions are justified. Second, expect her family and friends to be angry with you.
She will tell them everything and you just have to expect that they will hate you for a while. That's how these things go. Third, expect for your family and friends to be upset with you because they expected so much more from you than this selfishness. You will likely feel like a disappointment for a while, but that's also deserved.
As a woman who is engaged to an amazing man, I am appalled by what I was hearing. I hope this letter travels to you so that you can just maybe make SOME amends. But if you chose to go through with the wedding, I just hope that you treat this woman right for the rest of her life. She deserves it.
A Stranger Who Cares