CVS was out of Arrid.
That was the moment that I had been dreading for ages.
Arrid is basically this "gender neutral" brand that advertises their products as what they are, plain and simple, with clean scents and without gender labels. I had finally used the last scrap of my 6 stick deodorant supply from which I had been chipping away for a couple years, forcing me to drag myself down aisle 6 of the pharmacy to try and find a temporary replacement until I had the chance to order a new Arrid box.
Before taking the 7 minute drive to the center of town, my mom had presented me with the option of just taking one of the Women's Dove ones they had in bulk stored in basement, but it was a matter of principal at that point. I would not smell like cucumbers or melons — if I wanted that, I would slice a cucumber in half, rub it on my pits, and sprinkle it with baby powder to produce the exact same results.
I take the way I smell very seriously.
Whenever I'm staring at products in CVS, I always think back to a few years ago when I first picked up a stick of "Men's" deodorant and was asked to put it back because it "wasn't for me." I asked my mom why that was and her response was "oh, well, the men's products have different chemicals so they work differently for different genders."
….yeah, she said that.
The only issue is that a lot of people actually believe this! Many think that "male" and "female" products are made for different purposes for different sexes, which I'm calling bull on, by the way. The human body is the human body and I seriously doubt that antiperspirant would perform abstractly in this case. "Oh, you have a Y chromosome? Nah, you can't use this. It's physically impossible to do so." I will admit that in the case of deodorant, they might be slightly different: the men's is stronger, and as a person who likes to smell as fresh as possible for as long as possible, well, I'll be taking that option, thank you very much.
According to HowStuffWorks, "...in both the male and female deodorants of a certain brand, the active ingredient was exactly the same and was present in the same amounts...The fragrance may differ between a man's and a woman's deodorant, based upon cultural norms and general preferences (for example, you may be more likely to find lavender in a woman's deodorant and leather in a man's), but the other ingredients are the same." In other words, the only difference between men's and women's deodorants is the scent and packaging, both of which apparently make the women's version more expensive.
It goes without saying that I spent a good amount of time in that aisle, lamenting both the facts that I couldn't see the beautiful dark blue tubes and that Amazon Prime still takes 2 full days to deliver. I would have to bite the bullet and just choose another brand, which I was not looking forward to. I sniffed and stared for what felt like hours until I settled on a Dove Men's one that smelled as much like soap as I could get — needless to say, I avoided anything that claimed to smell like "SWAG" like the plague. (What is "SWAG" even supposed to smell like anyways!?)
Even as I brought the deodorant to the counter and set it down, the clerk gave me a look like "you sure you want to buy this?" I was almost tempted to say that it wasn't for me just so he wouldn't look so incredulous, but then I thought back to the more expensive glittery Secret sticks that claimed to smell like cupcakes from aisle 6, grimaced internally, and just went on with my day.
The question of what people use to make themselves feel, smell, and look good really isn't the concern of anyone else. Some of you who are long-time readers of mine will know that my summer job involves a lot of sun, sweat, and hard work, so having a deodorant that really works is far more important to me than having the small patch of skin underneath my arms be "lusciously moisturized" — all that I ask is that you allow me to buy something that works well, makes me feel comfortable, and doesn't leave me smelling like grocery store produce.
Now all I have to do is wait by my mailbox for the next two days.
