It’s the holiday season. For college students, this means sitting at home, wrapped up in blankets with a piping cup of hot chocolate, and binge-watching as many Netflix shows as possible.
At the beginning of my winter break, I finally finished the television series "Breaking Bad", a show that I began in the summer with my brother and did not have a chance to finish until now (I know, I’m very behind the times).
Having just finished what is considered to be one of the greatest television series of all time, the show has been on my mind nonstop. As Christmas rolled around, I imagined to myself what it would be like if the male characters from "Breaking Bad" were to work as a Santa Claus in a mall for the winter season, and I decided to take it upon myself to rank them in order of who would be the best for the job.
Thus, here is a ranking, from worst to best, of how I envision each character would perform the job of being Santa Claus.
Warning: *Spoilers ahead*
10. Todd Alquist
One of the more unlikeable characters on the series, Todd is self-absorbed and a bit of an idiot, so working as a mall Santa would probably not be his forte. He also apathetically shoots and kills a small child in one of the first few episodes he’s featured in, so working with kids is probably not the best idea for him.
9. Tuco Salamanca
Throughout his run on the series, Tuco is shown as an impulsive and violent character, who uses fear to demonstrate his power. Although he is extremely protective of his family, especially those relatives who are elderly, I don’t think this loving trait would translate with random children asking for presents.
8. Jesse Pinkman
Jesse is a character who first off, would appear too young to be Santa Claus, and who second, would not have the patience or energy to fulfill his duty. He is shown to have a soft spot for children throughout "Breaking Bad", but I think he would get bored quickly and get fired for smoking weed behind the mall during his break.
7. Saul Goodman
Whenever Saul does something, he is thinking of his own personal gain. Being a Santa in the mall does not equate to the glamorous image he crafts for himself as a lawyer, and if he were to take on the job, he would probably get caught pickpocketing the children sitting in his lap.
6. Walter (“Flynn”) White Jr.
Walter Jr., or “Flynn” as you might call him, could possibly take on the job as Santa for some extra cash/gas money. Being the kindhearted person he is, Flynn would probably do a fine job, but as with Jesse, he definitely looks too young to play the part.
5. Walter White
Walter White has a bit more of the age that makes him a fitting Santa, and with that circle beard he’s already started growing, he could just spray that thing white, and he’s on his way to becoming a great Santa. However, knowing him, he would probably find his work unfulfilling before too long, and he would go off to do something far more dangerous and thrilling.
4. Gustavo Fring
Gus is someone who puts everything into his work, because he wants to be the best at it. He is also terrific at putting on a persona, such as the generous food chain owner he acted as for years. Therefore, I think he would be just as talented at being Santa Claus, and his calm, smooth voice would be comforting to the ears of many nervous children. Yet, who knows what he will be up to during his time off from the job.
3. Mike Ehrmantraut
As we witnessed during the scenes with his granddaughter, Mike works well with children, and he is a very strong protector. He rocks a fitting white beard, and he is the perfect age to appear as the ideal Santa Claus. If it weren’t for his sometimes unnerving demeanor, then he would be the best character to work as a mall Santa.
2. Hank Schrader
Hank would be an outstanding Santa Claus. Hank is a man who is highly dedicated to his job, and I believe that he would put just as much effort into his work as Santa as he would for the DEA. With a wide smile, he would bring joy to tons of children asking for their Christmas gifts, and he would be proud to be doing it. However, my only issue is I’m not sure if the work would be exciting enough for him, or if he would get bored with it easily.
1. Huell Babineaux
Winning the top spot in my ranking, I think there is no better man from the "Breaking Bad" cast than Huell Babineaux to be Santa Claus for the holidays. While Huell was meant to be an intimidating bodyguard, he often failed at it due to his frequent naps and passive nature. But, within a mall setting, Huell would thrive as Santa, due to his glowing smile and jolly attitude. It was always obvious that Huell was not meant for the darker side of business, and I think that working as Santa would be the perfect fit for him.
I hope that everyone has a great winter break and you enjoy your time off with some stellar television! And if you have not yet watched "Breaking Bad", I strongly encourage it.
