The Male Characters Of 'Breaking Bad' Ranked In Order Of Best Mall Santa
Start writing a post
Entertainment

The Male Characters Of 'Breaking Bad' Ranked In Order Of Best Mall Santa

An analyzation of the male characters from 'Breaking Bad', and who I believe would be the best at being Santa for the holidays.

223
The Male Characters Of 'Breaking Bad' Ranked In Order Of Best Mall Santa
Michael Lee-Graham

It’s the holiday season. For college students, this means sitting at home, wrapped up in blankets with a piping cup of hot chocolate, and binge-watching as many Netflix shows as possible.

At the beginning of my winter break, I finally finished the television series "Breaking Bad", a show that I began in the summer with my brother and did not have a chance to finish until now (I know, I’m very behind the times).

Having just finished what is considered to be one of the greatest television series of all time, the show has been on my mind nonstop. As Christmas rolled around, I imagined to myself what it would be like if the male characters from "Breaking Bad" were to work as a Santa Claus in a mall for the winter season, and I decided to take it upon myself to rank them in order of who would be the best for the job.

Thus, here is a ranking, from worst to best, of how I envision each character would perform the job of being Santa Claus.

Warning: *Spoilers ahead*

10. Todd Alquist

One of the more unlikeable characters on the series, Todd is self-absorbed and a bit of an idiot, so working as a mall Santa would probably not be his forte. He also apathetically shoots and kills a small child in one of the first few episodes he’s featured in, so working with kids is probably not the best idea for him.

9. Tuco Salamanca

Throughout his run on the series, Tuco is shown as an impulsive and violent character, who uses fear to demonstrate his power. Although he is extremely protective of his family, especially those relatives who are elderly, I don’t think this loving trait would translate with random children asking for presents.

8. Jesse Pinkman

Jesse is a character who first off, would appear too young to be Santa Claus, and who second, would not have the patience or energy to fulfill his duty. He is shown to have a soft spot for children throughout "Breaking Bad", but I think he would get bored quickly and get fired for smoking weed behind the mall during his break.

7. Saul Goodman

Whenever Saul does something, he is thinking of his own personal gain. Being a Santa in the mall does not equate to the glamorous image he crafts for himself as a lawyer, and if he were to take on the job, he would probably get caught pickpocketing the children sitting in his lap.

6. Walter (“Flynn”) White Jr.

Walter Jr., or “Flynn” as you might call him, could possibly take on the job as Santa for some extra cash/gas money. Being the kindhearted person he is, Flynn would probably do a fine job, but as with Jesse, he definitely looks too young to play the part.

5. Walter White

Walter White has a bit more of the age that makes him a fitting Santa, and with that circle beard he’s already started growing, he could just spray that thing white, and he’s on his way to becoming a great Santa. However, knowing him, he would probably find his work unfulfilling before too long, and he would go off to do something far more dangerous and thrilling.

4. Gustavo Fring

Gus is someone who puts everything into his work, because he wants to be the best at it. He is also terrific at putting on a persona, such as the generous food chain owner he acted as for years. Therefore, I think he would be just as talented at being Santa Claus, and his calm, smooth voice would be comforting to the ears of many nervous children. Yet, who knows what he will be up to during his time off from the job.

3. Mike Ehrmantraut

As we witnessed during the scenes with his granddaughter, Mike works well with children, and he is a very strong protector. He rocks a fitting white beard, and he is the perfect age to appear as the ideal Santa Claus. If it weren’t for his sometimes unnerving demeanor, then he would be the best character to work as a mall Santa.

2. Hank Schrader

Hank would be an outstanding Santa Claus. Hank is a man who is highly dedicated to his job, and I believe that he would put just as much effort into his work as Santa as he would for the DEA. With a wide smile, he would bring joy to tons of children asking for their Christmas gifts, and he would be proud to be doing it. However, my only issue is I’m not sure if the work would be exciting enough for him, or if he would get bored with it easily.

1. Huell Babineaux


Winning the top spot in my ranking, I think there is no better man from the "Breaking Bad" cast than Huell Babineaux to be Santa Claus for the holidays. While Huell was meant to be an intimidating bodyguard, he often failed at it due to his frequent naps and passive nature. But, within a mall setting, Huell would thrive as Santa, due to his glowing smile and jolly attitude. It was always obvious that Huell was not meant for the darker side of business, and I think that working as Santa would be the perfect fit for him.

I hope that everyone has a great winter break and you enjoy your time off with some stellar television! And if you have not yet watched "Breaking Bad", I strongly encourage it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

102310
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments