This summer is going to be different for me.
This is the first time in a long time where I'm going to have a lot of freedom this summer, and I'm genuinely looking forward to it. The crazy part is that I don't even have plans to travel or do anything crazy, but that's what makes it so great.
The fact that I'll be home for the summer with an excess amount of free time and less working sounds great to me. I know that having an internship somewhere would probably benefit me too, but I'm not dreading that anymore.
To keep it real, I did apply for internships. AND normal jobs too. Grocery store cashiers. Boring, government receptionist jobs. Video production internships. I've applied to so many things over the course of the spring semester and it's draining not to hear back from anything...or at least, only hearing back with rejections.
It scared me at first. But it doesn't anymore. Why?
I'm embracing where my life is and where I am at this moment in time.
I am not worried about the future. I'm not worried about my career or job opportunities I may have missed. Maybe that sounds reckless, but not to me.
I say that because I used to bash myself for doing things that I wanted to do. I used to bash myself for not following exactly what my parents say I should be doing or what society tells me. I want to live my life in its full essence as it right now, in its full originality and being.
I'm simply focusing on me. Conceited? No. Content.
Routine, routine, routine.
I love routine. I also love adventure and spontaneity, but routine is where I feel at home. However, stepping outside of your comfort zone is what I've been trying to do for the past year, so I'm trying to embrace that too.
I already know how I'm going to spend my off days, work days, and time in between. I want to keep myself busy, preparing myself for the humongous workload I'm going to encounter when the fall semester hits. There's a lot I want and have to do, secure, and make arrangements for. I'm excited to tackle those battles.
Long distance running is going to become a part of my everyday routine. It's something I used to love doing but distanced myself from last summer. It makes me happy and keeps me active - and out of the house.
Working as much as I can to obviously secure the bag but also to stay busy is something I'm looking forward to. Going to the pool and soaking up as much sun as I can get is a huge priority for me this summer.
My goal is to do things that will make me happy. But deeper than that, I want to learn what will make my soul and heart happy. If having a routine, spending the majority of my time relaxing, and staying out of the house will aid in benefiting myself, than that's what I'm going to do.
I'm trying to put me before stress and discomfort.
Something that usually affects me when I go home is stress. This can be confusing or it could be extremely relatable. Either way, coming home for me isn't necessarily a great experience.
That's why I want to come into summer 2019 with a new, refreshing mindset.
I'm going in with a mindset that sees the positives and how I can adjust myself for the time at home that consists of fun and freedom. The second I no longer have access to my small on-campus apartment with so much charm, character, and "me," is when I lose my personal space. I lose the things that make me more of myself rather than having to act a certain way now that I'm a 20-year-old living with my parents. Everything changes...And while I'm savoring every last minute of this time away from home, it'll soon come to an end.
So when I say "Summer 2019, here I come," I mean it. I'm not letting my summer go to waste like I did last year. I'll update you as the summer goes on, so stay tuned!