The world is full of situations that cannot be controlled. “Life isn't fair” runs through my mind more than I'd like, but I have come to a new realization about what exactly that means to me.
My mom bought me a book called Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed and there are many little pieces of wisdom that she gives - but one stuck with me more than the rest. Two sentences that came together to hit me right in the face.
She writes, “You don't have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you're holding."
She's right. There is no special thing about me that gets to demand or expect that I be dealt a new hand. I, just like everybody else, have the option to moan and groan over how hard certain things are. I can complain about the woe-is-me parts of my life that make getting out of bed seem impossible some days. It is completely within my ability to wallow in self-pity about how it's hard for me to pay for college or how I don't have a car or what a pain it is that my friends and I fight sometimes, but what does that accomplish? How am I better? What does wanting things to improve matter when it comes time to do something about my life?
These negative viewpoints don't help me a bit. So I don't dwell on those thoughts of unfairness any more. They come to my head, but they don't get to stay. They don't get to stay because Strayed's words tell me that I have been given enough. What life has dealt me allows me to do a lot more than whine and if I don't then I let myself down.
It is hard to pay for college – but I get to go to college! I don't have a car – but I don't need one to get to work and go to school and get home to my family when I'm homesick. I don't have perfect relationships – but I have honest ones with people who challenge me to be my best self. All of these are taxing situations that I must face on a regular basis, but they are not worth undermining my appreciation for what I do have.
Everyone is dealt a card here and there as life goes on. Each day requires those cards be used in the best way possible. Throughout my life I've been given cards that allow me to keep going...to keep playing the game.
I have not been dealt a hand that makes going on simple. What I have been dealt is a hand that makes the game worth it. I have opportunities ahead of me that are filled with wonder and remorse and everything that lies between. I look forward to each day because I want to test myself, to see what skills I have to keep going. I look forward to each day because I know that my alternative of hating what is in front of me is no way to live.
There is no reason to lie around wishing things were better when I could take some initiative and make things better. The only way to go through life is to do the best possible with what we have. We have to play the hell out of the cards we have been dealt because to do anything less is a waste of wonderful opportunities that lie ahead.
