Long-distance relationships can be a struggle. Some days, you may see every other couple out with their PDA seemingly in your face, and you feel that you might as well be single with how far away your partner is. You might start to wonder if it's worth it, or if it even counts as a relationship. But then you get a message or phone call or letter from your person, and suddenly it's like he/she is there, and you're reminded why you're doing this thing. Feeling together while being apart can be a tricky thing, so here are six tips for when the going gets rough:
1. Don't treat it like a breakup!
The distance is temporary, so try to limit your taco-eating, Netflix-binging days. You'll probably experience a breakdown every now and then, and that's normal, but don't drown in tears every day while watching rom-coms. Get outside, exercise, be with your people, pursue your career and education, and do things for fun. Your person is coming back, so get ready to show off your stuff!
2. Communicate.
You're missing the face-to-face, eye contact and body language that is such a big part of communication, but there are ways to make up for that. Make it clear to the other that you want to talk/spend time with them in whatever way possible. If the phone lines get fuzzy, you can't hear, and you want to to throw your phone against the wall, then find a quiet place you can go to talk. You don't have to talk over your family or roommates: take a walk. If available, Skype and FaceTime are some of the best inventions for long-distance relationships because you get some of the body language and expression back. Start traditions that you can do when you're apart, and sometimes, the cheesier, the better!
3. Make it clear to your partner that you miss them.
If you're struggling with the distance, the last thing you want to think is that your partner is loving the space! Make it clear to each other that you're just as much together as you ever were. Find ways to tell your partner you miss him/her and that you think about him/her throughout the day.
4. Learn what is difficult for your partner and how to encourage him/her.
Some people majorly struggle with distance, while others have no problem accepting it as temporary. If you're partner is struggling but you're not, make it a priority to understand how your absence is affecting them, and learn how to make it easier when you're not there. After all, you're their partner when you're together and when you're apart, so don't think you're off the hook when you're not together. If you think your partner is too clingy, that's your call and you're free to leave. But if you want to stay, be aware of and willing to work through your partner's separation anxiety. Consistency can help to lessen the anxiety. Just knowing that a phone call is coming every night can add a sense of stability and normalcy to the relationship.
5. Do the little things.
When you're apart, the tiniest things will brighten your day. Never miss an opportunity to let your partner share in your daily moments and treasure them with your actions and choices. When the nights are too long, your person is only a phone call away.
6. Always look on the bright side.
You're both trying hard to make this thing work, which means that you're devoted. You couldn't possibly be in this thing just to have fun, so you know it's real. Acknowledge your partner's efforts to love you. Be grateful for their phone calls, messages, and check-ins. They're trying, and so are you. So just keep swimming until you see them again!
Maybe you'd never choose a long-distance relationship, but if you go through one, you'll experience a love that is different and perhaps more meaningful than you would otherwise have. You get to learn why your person is worth waiting for, and you find out that for some miraculous reason, they think you're worth waiting for, too! If that isn't special, I don't know what is. So the next time your heart gets a little sad when you're walking alone amidst the couples, smile because you have something uniquely special until you too are one of those couples walking hand-in-hand.
