Does anyone know the secret to maintaining a balance in college? I’m not asking a rhetorical question.
This semester has been the busiest of my college career so far, and even though I love to make my peers and friends think I have everything under control, the reality is I’m a rubber band being pulled in every direction and reaching its limit.
Part of the problem comes from my inability to say no to anything except friends. I can say, “I have too much work” when someone asks me to go grocery shopping with them, but when it comes to activities and leadership positions all I know is how to say, “Yes, I can handle that.” Another part of the problem is I knew what I was getting into when I came to William and Mary. I knew the students would be just like me: academically competitive and overly involved. I went to a high school with the same culture, and surrounded myself with people exactly like myself.
The difference between my high school and college is that high school does not require balance because our lives were laid out for us and we had others holding us accountable. Everyone took about the same number of classes, there were only two things to do on the weekends, and those who were involved in an extracurricular activity generally stuck with them for four years or found another one to replace it. In college no one knows if you skip class or fail a test. When everyone is doing their own balancing act it’s hard to see when others need support.
If you’re lucky, then you have friends that look out for you and know when you are taking on more than you can manage. Though, it is so easy to fade into the background, especially when you put on a happy face. It’s easy to tell a friend you’re there for them, but it’s even easier to ignore their silent cries for help. Part of what makes college difficult is the balance between taking care of yourself and taking care of others. While it is important to take care of yourself and your needs, knowing when others need help or support is key in any relationship or friendship.
My parents used to tell me that I was “burning the candle at both ends.” I didn’t fully understand the truth of that statement until two weeks ago when I was at my internship at the Muscarelle Museum of Art. I was assembling membership kits by typing the names and addresses of the members onto mailing labels and letters. When they printed, my coworker pointed out all the mistakes I had made. It looked like someone had been typing in their sleep. I had been substituting caffeine for real sleep, and in that moment the sleep deprivation had caught up to me. I am not invincible, though I had thought until that moment that I was.
For those in a similar situation: maybe it’s time to cut ties with the organizations in which you are not wholeheartedly invested. It’s easy to follow the path of being involved for the sake of being involved, but that doesn’t help us in the end. It only causes unnecessary stress and inhibits the leaders from bringing the organization to it’s full potential. We don’t need to be the president of every organization, getting 4.0s every semester, and accepting everyone’s invitations to hang out, but we do need to find out what makes us happy. It is only when we take a step back and evaluate what is important that we can find balance.
