So, as my readers may or may not know, I have Spina Bifida. Because I have Spina Bifida, I have a wheelchair, crutches, AFOs or Ankle Braces, I’m bigger than I’d like, I have incredibly swollen legs and feet and I don’t feel anything from the waist down. On the surface, Spina Bifida would appear to be the biggest issue in my life. My Achilles heel, if you will. Most people who meet me would never even guess that I have problems in my life besides Spina Bifida because, well, why would they? Human Beings, as a rule, make snap judgments on a daily basis, even if they don’t realize it.
However, Spina Bifida has never and will never slow me down. I’m just your everyday person who happens to have a banged up spine and a pair of shiny wheels. I’m not the type to sit at home and complain about rough it is to take two minutes to climb a flight of stairs. It’s my most obvious disability but it’s not my main disability.
My main disability is anxiety. I had to file for disability a few years ago because of my anxiety which was preventing me from working. Even medicated, my anxiety still flares up at random and unexpected times, keeping me from fulfilling simple tasks in a timely fashion or even at all. I don’t quite know why I started getting these anxiety attacks but I do know that they started mid-high school. I also don’t know what triggers them most of the time and it’s just as confusing as to what causes them to end.
The reason I bring all this up is because the most obvious disability is not always the main disability. Just because someone seems to struggle with walking doesn’t mean that there isn’t a bigger psychological issue at play. Just because someone doesn’t talk doesn’t mean they don’t have a back issue that’s a bigger issue to them. There is a drastic difference between the most obvious disability and the main disability. Very rarely are they one and the same. Of course, some people are in a wheelchair and most affected by the fact that they are in a wheelchair, meaning that The most obvious disability and the main disability are the same thing to them but it is never a wise idea to just assume that.
When you do assume that, you have instances where I’m having a panic attack when I’m trying to walk up a few stairs and people are instead trying to help me lift my foot up to the next step because they think that they are the issue. Mental problems are much more gripping than physical problems for me so if something’s wrong and I’m clearly worried, you should try to calm me down first because a clear mind might help my body work better. It’s all in my head and I’m not afraid to admit it.
Get to know a person and the root of their needs before assuming that you have their disabilities or special health care problems all figured out. Do not assume that a person is struggling to get up a ramp because their arms are weak or that a person is crying because they are upset by something you said. Talk to them about what’s going on and maybe, someday, you’ll get to know them well enough where you can treat their main disability instead of their most obvious one.
