Vance Joy writes folk songs for a new generation. The Australian singer-songwriter will make you memorize his songs without thinking and sing his songs without even realizing it… here is one of his songs that I decided to decode the meaning of Vance Joy- "Mess is Mine". It is a simple song about the messiness of relationships and what they really mean. Here is a little summary of the song that Vance Joy gives us.

“It’s about how when you’re in love with someone, you take on the whole package [that person brings]. It’s messy, but the mess of life is the good thing. The special thing about relationships is taking on the good and the bad and the messy aspects.”

Relationships come in all shapes and forms, but there is no doubt that in all relationships there’s a different story. No two relationships are ever the same and sometimes, a little messiness comes along with it. In school, we take all of these classes that teach us about historical facts or just facts in general but we never learn about relationships. Let me share with you what kind of lessons I found from this song.

1. You have to accept the mess

Well hold on my darling

This mess was yours

Now your mess is mine

Vance Joy- "Mess is Mine"

Being in a relationship, you learn that as a person you have these different kind of moods that just happen and you don’t always know how to explain them. These moods can be like different emotions that you are just so used to keeping them to yourself that it is hard to come out and let someone in to these emotions and explain what it is that you’re feeling. The thing is that when you’re dating someone, you can’t just keep these things to yourself. You have to learn how to communicate these emotions because more likely than not the mood that you’re feeling is going to find its way to your partner and affect them. I imagine that this is what Vance Joy is referring to: “This mess was yours/ Now your mess is mine.” Whether in a dating relationship or just in friendship, you are opening yourself up to influence.

2. You get what you put in

You’re the reason that I feel so strong

The reason that I’m hanging on

You know you gave me all that time

But did I give enough of mine?

Vance Joy- "Mess is Mine"

This one just seemed pretty self explanatory…you get what you put in. For example, how can you think that you’re going to pass a test that you didn’t study for? If you put the effort into it and the right devotion to the studying, then you can be assured that you will ace the test with out a problem. On the other hand, what will happen if you didn’t put in the time to study for the test? Again…you get what you put in. The same applies in relationships. At the end of the day, we have to ask: how much of my heart am I really giving?

3. You need the right perspective

Tell me “sorry for the mess”

Hey, I don’t mind

You’re talking in your sleep

All the time

Well you still make sense to me

Your mess is mine

Vance Joy- "Mess is Mine"

Whether we realize it or not, we sometimes label our relationships and end up seeing people a different way. When the relationship hits a rough patch, we may see the person a little distorted. We have to draw this fine line and not allow this to happen. Yes, the road may get a little bumpy “difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations” but we have to believe the relationship is always more than worth the trouble. What perspective will you choose?

So as Vance said in his interview:

"The special thing about relationships is taking on the good and the bad and the messy aspects.”