Having grown up in a Christian household, I have known of this Scripture for probably 90% of my life. And especially in recent years, I have made it my life motto . . . well, most of it anyways. Five words, and I have only really been living out the first three.

I do not know why, but loving others has always come really naturally to me (and I in no way say that to brag). It is physically painful when I hear of friends being – for lack of a better word – intolerant of others whose lifestyle is different from theirs. For a majority of my life, I have just seen everyone as humans in need of love and respect; everyone I come in contact with is deserving of all the common courtesies I can offer no matter if their beliefs, choices, and lifestyles vary from mine. They are a created being with a living soul, and I desire to show them love and kindness based on that reason alone. Besides, Matthew 22:39 gives the command to "Love your neighbor," and I have always been determined to follow that out to the nth degree.

Recently, however, I realized that I was glossing over – honestly straight up ignoring – the "as yourself" portion of the scripture. Because I did not love myself, I was willing to give of myself to others to the point of unhealthiness. To me, it did not matter how I was, just as long as long as those around me were happy. I would spend all of myself to try and do my best to love on the people in my life.

I do not know what it is about a new year, but it was like 2019 came and a flip switched in my head. I want to love others because they are God-created beings . . . but I had not taken the time to process the reality that I deserve to give myself that same courtesy. I'm a child of God. A human being. A living soul. Why then do I struggle to show myself the same love I so desperately desire to show others?? Best guess was because I know what I have done . . . I know the horrible, horrendous mistakes I have made. Yet at the same time, if I met someone who happened to have made the same choices as me, I would still show them love. I came to realize it is a really unhealthy mentality to believe that I am the only one undeserving of my love.

If you can kinda relate to all this, I encourage to make 2019 your year! Yeah, keep shining that radiating love like you always do, but take some time to show yourself some love too! How I am having to practice some self-love is realizing that it is okay to back off from certain relationships; it is really not healthy to push yourself to the breaking point just to make a few people happy. I know that can sound like a no-brainer to some, but that's literally a lesson that has taken me 19 years to just begin to truly understand.

So yeah! Show yourself some love this year. You are a valuable, precious treasure equally deserving of all the love you show to others! Don't be afraid to take a little time to retreat from toxicity and treat yourself.