Loving Myself Is My New Year's Resolution
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Loving Myself Is My New Year's Resolution

Despite having everything we were told would make us happy, we are not.

693
Loving Myself Is My New Year's Resolution
Ivan Reyes

The new year is here. With it comes the articles and the tips for all the resolutions we should make to become the way popular culture would like us to be. Eat less. Work out more. Buy this product or that. Wear certain clothes. Again and again, we are bombarded with the clear message: "You are not good enough, but you could be if only you would do this."

It seems like this should be an easy message to ignore, to plug our ears and cover our eyes like a child at an R-rated movie. Like that child, the temptation is too great. As much as we say we don't want to hear the message, deep down it's a message that has been playing in our heads our entire lives. The marketers are just telling us what we already tell ourselves.

I spent most of my life believing this was unique to me — that my brain was the only one with a soundtrack of self-defeating messages and thoughts of doom and gloom. But the last few years of self-exploration into my inner workings have taught me differently. I have learned these are messages we all hear, demons that live in our psyches put there by a society that values doing over being. The little versions of us were taught we were good when we did this or that and bad when we did not.

We were chastised for daydreaming, sitting around, and having fun. We were prodded and pushed into winning, achieving, and making "good" use of time. While we wear different clothes, have a variety of jobs, and like to think of ourselves as unique adults, deep inside where the little you and I reside we are the same tender children who want to be loved and cared for, expressing that desire in the ways we have been programmed.

We spend the year working hard, buying expensive things, and acting and saying exactly what we were taught would make us lovable. Then the holidays arrive and we pause. We leave our jobs and offices behind in one of the few true breaks of the year. We visit our childhood homes, reminisce about the past, and disconnect from the present. In the process we often realize a sobering truth: despite having everything we were told would make us happy, we are not.

In fact, many of us are experiencing the opposite. We're sick, stressed out, overworked and under-loved, crumbling beneath an ever-growing to-do list trying to be good parents, loving spouses, and responsible workers while neglecting the needs of our hearts.

The result is that by the time New Year's Eve rolls around we usually have a long list of resolutions about things we want to change with the hope of being happy. We diligently pencil out our resolutions — goals, timelines, and benchmarks of success. When we are done, our list looks like an episode of an extreme makeover reality tv show. All of this is another message to ourselves that we are not good enough, broken, and in need of saving.

This year I want to invite you to put down the pen and paper, turn off the TV ads, and ignore the articles (less enlightened than mine) listing the ways to optimize and supercharge your resolutions. Instead, make yourself one simple promise. To practice loving yourself. Instead of seeking self-help resolve to engage in self-love. Instead of working on yourself, commit to accepting yourself as you are. And as this year fades into the next, join me, in the beginning, this practice. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, place your hands on your heart, and repeat silently to yourself: I am not broken. There is nothing to fix. May I be loved by myself and others just the way I am.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

19557
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

947486
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

123980
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments