To love at all is to be vulnerable.
-Clive Staples Lewis
Sam and Mel
Sam and Mel have been married for 25 years. One day, they were enjoying the sun and their time at Old Orchard Mall. As they passed American Eagle, a rather pretty girl walks by. Sam looked right through her but didn't quite make it to the heart. It was lust at first sight. "Why do I feel this way?" Sam didn't like this feeling. He prides himself in championing feminism and egalitarianism. He doesn't openly objectify women like his neanderthal friends (He's clearly not a Drumpf supporter). The problem is that he may not openly objectify women, but objectify them he does. He never disclosed his thought life to Mel, but if he ever did it would only hurt her. There wasn't anyone else to whom he could go. "The guys would just judge me." He was rather self-righteous, so why would his friends treat him any different?
Samuel and Melanie
Samuel and Melanie have been married for 15 years. One day, they were enjoying the rainy day and their time at Woodfield Mall. As they passed Banana Republic, a rather beautiful woman strolled by. Samuel looked right through her and pierced his heart. It was infatuation at first sight. "Why do I feel this way?" Samuel didn't like this feeling. He has been faithful to Melanie for such a long time, it never made sense to him how strangers can affect him so. Even when a coworker would create a similar dissonance in his heart, he would never act on the feelings. Before they dated, Samuel went from relationship to relationship. He didn't always blame his ex-girlfriends, but in most cases he felt they were almost completely at fault for the split. He never bothered to stop and wonder if something is missing inside. The void was aching, and Melanie didn't have the key.
Sammy and Melinda
Sammy and Melinda have been married for 5 years. One day, they were enjoying the Christmas season and their time at the Water Tower Place. As they passed Armani Exchange, a rather stunning girl meandered by. Sammy looked right passed her. It was oblivion at first sight. "Why do I feel this way?" Sammy didn't like this feeling. For the longest time, he realized he was nothing like his friends. As they would gaga over the next faux model, Sammy obsessed over the architecture of the building. Melinda and he met at a mutual friend's party. They have so much in common, he could't pass the chance to ask her out. Their sex life has never been very good, but they compensated with good discourse and common interests. However, he can't shake the feeling that there is something different about him.
The Power of Three
Each husband has a major deficiency, but don't be so naive to think each wife doesn't have her own cross to bear. I make no claim that one husband has more to overcome than the next. Some men may face a hybrid of the previous examples or completely different issues altogether. However, the sin of each man is the same: not seriously addressing the deficiency. In a world where it seems more comfortable to sweep our problems under the rug, why not step back and spend some time in deep introspection? Who knows? Maybe it'll lead to a stronger marriage and/or a better you.
