My friend told me a story once about something someone had said to her that stuck with her. When she was having a panic attack, she was crying to apologizing to the friend that was with her. She told the friend that she thought it was a mistake to be friends and to love each other like family. Her friend looked her dead in the eyes and said, "I love you more than this."
That statement has been ringing in my head lately. "I love you more than this." That means, "I love you more than your weakness now." "I love you more than your anxiety." "I love you more than your messed up head."
It means you love the person more for what they are when they're afraid or hurt or lashing out. You love them more because you know they are more than what they are in the moment. You love them because you've seen them at their best and at their worst. I promise to always love everyone more. I love them more because I have seen what she's like when she's owning the stage and what she's like when her trifecta isn't perfect anymore.
I love them more because my best friend is the strongest person I know and sometimes she needs someone to be strong with her. I love them more because I know they can be-and are-more. They are flawed humans who hold it together brilliantly on a daily basis. They are more than what you see in front of you. They are more than what they look like, how they act, what they say.
I've watched people around me panic and become depressed and struggle to smile. I've watched people calm themselves down, find the courage to keep on keepin' on, and find happiness again. Always love people at their worst or you will never see them at their best.
"I love you more" is usually a response to "I love you". I say "I love you" a lot and often and to everyone. It made an ex of mine mad because he said it lost meaning whenever I said it to him. On the contrary, I think it means more. Knowing that I say it to everyone and I still said it to him would've made it seem more special to me. But to each his own I suppose. "I love you more" isn't said back to me a lot. My mom says it and occasionally my dad but it's mostly my family, not friends. I mean, after Tangled came out my friends and I used the "I love you more, I love you most" thing. It's a nice saying and it's nice to have love reciprocated back at you. Saying "I love you too" is usually more commonplace though.
"I love you more" is a promise. It's a promise to love someone more than a fight, more than any little flaw, more than everything. No matter who else crosses into their loves, they will love you more.
