I'm the type who gives my ALL in relationships. Whether you're my friend, family, or significant other, I am willing to go through thick and thin to make things work. I love with every ounce of my heart. I care with my whole soul. I give chance after chance after chance. It's hard for me to accept that everyone isn't going to love me how I love them. Everyone isn't going to care for me how I care for them. Everyone isn't going to be there for me the way I'm there for them.
Lately, I've been learning how to love people from a distance. I've been learning how to let the pain and the hurt go. I've been learning to put myself, my daughter, and my well being FIRST. I had to go through some heartbreaks, headaches, pain, and restless nights before I finally just got tired. I had to have a long talk with myself and with God in order to get some type of closure. The words I remember hearing clear as day were, "LET IT GO." I had to learn how to let the hurt go. I had to forgive people who weren't even sorry --- that's hard.
My senior year of high school my heart got broken by someone I longed to develop a relationship with. I was 17 years old, and here I am at 21 years old still learning how to let it go. I'm learning how to be okay and not think about the "what ifs." It's hard, but it gets easier as time passes by. I had to accept an apology that I was never given. I find myself thinking of this person less and less each day, and I'm thankful. I'm thankful that she no longer consumes thoughts. I'm thankful that my heart no longer sinks when her name is brought up. My freshman year of college I crossed paths with the person I plan to spend forever with. We went through A LOT together, but I had to accept that his way of showing emotions and loving me were different than mine. We went through break ups and makeups, but we've finally learned how to deal with each others differences in a mature and healthy manner.
You HAVE TO understand that everyone is different. Some people don't know how to love -- they don't know how to care. Some people, like me, care too much and love too much. Some people hold on to the hurt that others put them through -- they don't know how to forgive. You have to know how to deal with all of these type of people and love them accordingly. It's hard. It's super hard, but for YOUR sake you have to learn how to deal with them. Like I said before, I'm still learning how to deal with people who treat me differently. I'm learning to think about self more. I learning how to love from a distance.
