Admitting it to ourselves might not be the easiest, but we’ve all been totally obsessed with a crush or hookup at some point in our lives. We think it’s crazy, and we think it’s too soon to be falling for them so fast, but we give in to it anyway. We all want to be the next Noah and Allie, but it can be hard to tell sometimes if what we’re feeling is real. It’s important for us to distinguish if what we’re falling in is love or lust.
The other day, one of my friends told me they didn’t know what the word “lust” meant. To my knowledge, the word was well-known, so I brought up the story to another friend who only confirmed that she too had no idea what it entailed. Lust can be defined as “intense sexual desire,” or “an overwhelming desire or craving.” Often times when we hook up with someone, if all goes well, we crave that sort of passion again. This goes especially for girls who are biologically more prone to attach themselves emotionally to one partner after a sexual encounter than men, who were originally biologically programmed to mate with as many partners as possible. This being said, it’s not impossible for men to fall in “lust” either. We fall in “lust” when we want something we can’t have, so if there are any crushes out there we can’t, well, crush, we might lust for them even more. When we’re in lust, we might obsess over having someone who, in reality, we may not even be compatible with. When we get caught up in this feeling, the desire we develop can easily be mistaken for love, but they’re not the same at all.
Everyone can look at the word “love” and define it differently. We can have lust and love for a person simultaneously, but it’s essential we look at the two separately if we really want to understand how we’re feeling. Loving someone is not just about how bad you want them to call you back, or how much you want them in bed. Loving someone is when you get to know them in and out and realize that even their most humiliating flaws are beautiful, as cliche as it sounds. If you can look at the significant other you’re lusting for and still think that truly, you might actually really have something good going.
If we all took a moment to put our pride aside and admit if we’re lusting or loving, we might actually realize how to handle the situation we’re in better. If it does come down to it and we learn what we’re feeling is just lust, it can be easier for us to take a step back and handle the heartbreak if the relationship or crush doesn’t function the way we wanted it to. In the end, if we realize we really do love the person as well, embrace that feeling! Both love and lust can be positives if we have the right outlook and attitude, just be careful not to get too caught up in the lust, and mistake it for feelings that aren’t really there.
