To make this article easier to understand and follow along, I Googled the definitions of love and lust and here's what I found:
Lust - a strong desire, want, or craving for something. Typically relating to sexual desires.
Love - a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person.
How could Google get it so wrong...?
Lust IS a strong desire, want, or craving. But what it doesn't tell you is that lust is destructive, selfish, and unhealthy for one person or any relationship it's involved in. Love IS a strong feeling of affection for a person, but it's so much more. Love isn't just a feeling, it's an action and a choice. It's selfless, it's healthy, "it's patient, kind, etc", it's necessary. The difference is simple; love can wait to give, but lust can't wait to get.
We confuse the two so easily and so often in our everyday relationships. Trust me, I do too. It's hard not to. We want to kiss someone because we like the way it makes us feel. We want to compliment someone cause we know we'll be complimented back. We give someone our fake, flirtatious attention, because we crave attention in return. We never do anything out of real, authentic, selfless love and we end up empty handed and broken. What makes me sad is that too many of us never figure out the difference between the two, and years down the road end up in broken homes, divorce, hatred, sadness, and heartache. That's why I'm writing this, I know it's hard to turn something down that makes us feel good for a few minutes or hours. We're selfish people, and our society definitely doesn't help us. We're bombarded with ads, words, movies, lyrics, and actions that tell us, love is cheap, it's an object, it's just a feeling, or an emotion. It tells us it's pleasure and passion. That it's materialistic and something you can find and even do with anyone.
But if that really is love, then how come we're constantly searching for more. How come we're never satisfied? How come something's always missing? We're all of these things; because that's not what love is. Love is never self centered and self searching, it's self-sacrificing, it's self-less. Less about us, and more about the person whom we care about. Instead of kissing someone out of selfish lust because it makes us feel good, try refraining from kissing that person until it becomes an expression of self giving and appreciation. Instead of throwing around compliments like confetti just to be complimented back, try being genuine and real. Instead of flirting away at the bar to only receive fake attention back, try having a conversation, try asking questions, learning, and growing.
Fill yourself with an overwhelming desire to only want the best for someone instead of an overwhelming desire to want someone. Love by losing. You may lose the affection, compliments, and attention, but that self sacrificing love is what God first exemplified. He's not asking us to lose our lives for someone, but lose our ego, our wants and needs, and replace it with a desire to serve.
I struggle with this daily, but what I realized is how the minute you recognize God's perfect love...your world changes. It becomes beautiful no matter what situation you're in. I know I've messed up and I'm imperfect, but knowing that someone still loves me, forgives me, desires truth and good in my life, and has my best interests at heart is something I can't quite comprehend but am completely overwhelmed by. I become drowned in goodness, excitement, and a desire to love others as He perfectly loves me.
We're always saying, "I love my boyfriend, he makes me feel so good", but until we're willing to step back from ourselves and put someone before us, we will never even be able to attempt loving perfectly. And if we truly do love someone shouldn't that be the ultimate goal? Perfect love?
