“You can love someone so much…but you can never love people as much as you can miss them.” When I first read this, I thought John Green was crazy when he wrote these words in "An Abundance of Katherines." Now sometimes I think he’s crazy, and sometimes I think he’s right.
I went away for college. Granted it’s not very far, but two hours seems very far when you don’t have a car and love people as much as I do. I’m pretty much emotionally attached to everyone I love. Emotionally attached as in I have 65 photos of people I love back home hanging up in my dorm room. That I went home the first weekend because I cried a lot that first week, and I mean a lot. Like I’m currently friends with an upperclassman because she witnessed me break down crying in the cafeteria. I’d say this emotional attachment issue is probably a bad thing, but as Winnie the Pooh says “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”I am an incredibly lucky person. I can’t even begin to explain all the different people that make my life so wonderful. I have awesome parents. My mom and dad always try their best with my sisters and me. I have always known that I was loved by my parents. I have sisters that taught me all the things about life, sisters are supposed to teach you. I have a nephew that is showing me how to love without fear again. I have best friends that take care of me and love me. I have former teachers that mean so much more to me because they’ve helped me through some of the worst times of my life. I have dogs that love me unconditionally. I have neighbors and family friends that act as members of my family. I have so many people that love me. So many people that I love so much that it physically hurts to be away from them. There are days where I wake up and all I think about is how much I miss them.
On those days, I think John Green’s words are right. That you miss people a lot more than you love them. Like, when I wake up and want to see my sister in her bed three feet away and want to cry when I just see my spare bed. My heart hurts because I miss her presence, but if she was there would I even show any emotion? Would my heart be nearly as light and happy, as it is heavy and sad when she isn’t there?
This causes me to think about Albert Einstein. There’s a story about him and in one part he explains how dark isn’t actually dark, but rather the absence of light. Can’t that be the same with love? Missing a person is only the absence of having that person around to love them, it’s not the absence of love. Love is like the light, it can grow and shrink, but it will never go away completely.
I think you can miss people an awful lot, but that’s because you love them so much. The only reason I miss all of these people is because how much I love them. My heart does a little dance when I get to see and talk to the people I love. Even if one of them just comments on my Facebook post, I can’t stop smiling for an hour or so. I love being connected to the people I love.
Going back to John Green, I need to tell you he later wrote a Tumblr post that addressed that quote. In his post he wrote, “Many people (including the character in my novel) think you can never love people as much as you can miss them. I think in the end you can–and must–love others more than you could ever miss them.”
Love people, love them now. It doesn’t matter that one day you are going to have to miss them. You can and should love people more than you can miss them. At the end of the day, love is what you need.
