Letter To My Ex

No one fully understands why I can’t move on from you. Why I keep lying to friends as I come back to you. You held my soul, my heart, and my body. Some lovesick god threw us into one another. We moved faster than both our walls could handle. We never were unhappy in each other’s company. It was always that pesky jealous god who lent us anger when we parted. How could we have been so foolish?

Everyone thought we would marry and now everyone hates you. They hate you for what you did to me. They hate you for not loving me. They hate you for shattering my heart. Everyone, including you, wants me to hate you. But, I can’t. I just want you to “hold onto me, cause I’m a little unsteady.”

You broke up with me because you were scared. I started a fight with you and ran away from confrontation because of my fears. We each caused the other’s heart to shatter. Fate can be so cruel. We could fit the movie trailer plot but reality doesn’t work like that. How can I deserve better when it was you who caused me to face my demons. You, who never judged my sexual behavior.

No one will ever understand that we didn’t break up because we weren’t perfect for one another but we lost love because we were both too afraid to face the unknown. I ran from you as many times as you ran from me. I manipulated you into looking the arse. How can I deserve better when no man has yet been able to touch me. I cringe every time someone comes close. “The gods may throw the dice, their minds as cold as ice, and someone way down here loses someone dear.”

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