Check out day is one of the hardest days for many Resident Advisors. You watch the students you've grown so attached to leave the residence halls to return next fall. International students are different. I had the pleasure this fall semester to experience international students on a larger scale and see them leave at the end of the semesters. Experiencing this twice in a year is hard.
When international students come into the halls, their eyes are filled with light and wonderment. That light continues through the semester and even until the leave. I can’t help but smile thinking about some of these students. Going to their first American class, coming to Reslife sponsored programs, making huge meals in the kitchens and inviting everyone to them, and experiencing the cold and snow. For some, these are all new experiences and bring so much excitement to then.
I’ve seen love grow among these students. Only being around each other for a semester did not stop them from making relationships. I don’t know about other RAs; but, when I see some of my students begin relationships, it brings joy to my heart. You can see the happiness on their faces, and you just know that the two of them are in pure bliss as well.
I realized after many of these students left that I was probably never going to see them again. That was a hard realization. It was even more difficult seeing friendships split half way across the world. As goodbyes were said and hugs were given, you could see the pain on both ends as phone numbers and social media was frantically exchanged. It’s hard not to feel that same pain as well. The most difficult realization is that you only got one semester to see them grow, form relationships, and become a community. Once those students board the bus, you start to wonder where they are going to be in 6 months, a year, ten years. You can only hope that the friendships and relationships they formed in your building on your campus, last until then. Once you finally get over all of that, you have to turn around and do the same thing over again in May.
This is what my job is about, the students. It’s not about the benefits or the power; it's the students. There isn’t a day that goes by that you aren’t thinking about your students. You think how the two in 107 are doing after their fight over the temperature of their room. You think about the student upstairs that recently broke up with their significant other of two years. You think about the student who is brilliant but struggles in the classroom.You think about the two love birds you see holding hands on the way to class, sitting in the lounge watching tv together, and doing homework together into the late hours of the night. It’s exhausting and hard to turn off; but, it's totally worth it in the end.
The students, even the problem students, are the reason I love this job. As they grow, you grow. When they fall, you’re the friend that comes to comfort them when their “friends” have left them. You’re the one they come to when life throws them into a loop, and they just need someone to vent to. You might be the one that a student comes to because they are having a problem with their sexual identity. In each of these scenarios, I hope that we have both grown once one of us exits the room. Knowing that you are building a student, is so powerful and inspiring. It’s seeing the students grow each day that makes the job so lovable.
