A Thank You Letter To My Friends

A Thank You Letter To My Friends

Thank you for being you.
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To my friends:

Thank you for always being there for me. Whether you live in the same building as me or across the country, I know that you will drop whatever you are doing so you can help me.

Thank you for understanding me. While I can talk to my family about things, they still live over 2000 miles away. Advice just is not the same through the phone. You guys are the ones who can relate the most and truly understand. My parents, who have never attended an undergraduate college in America, can not relate to the college experiences that we go through. You guys are my go-tos whenever I need someone to vent to, seek relationship advice, or just want to joke around with. Thank you for being always a text message or Facetime phone call away.

Thank you for being my study, gym and shopping buddy. Thank you for always being willing to go out and eat Chinese food or get gourmet ice cream with me. Thank you for watching out for me at frat parties and making sure that I am okay. I love and treasure the thousands of memories that we have made from TV/movie marathons to spontaneous adventures in downtown Phoenix or Atlanta.

Thank you for never failing to cheer me up when I feel down.

Seeing you guys after a long day of classes always brighten my day and makes me forget about all the work there is to do. I am always the happiest when I am around you guys.

Thank you for always making me laugh. I love looking at the weird memes we tag each other in on Facebook, the sleep-deprived Snapchats we send each other, and the funny photos that we take.

Thank you for always putting up with me. Thank you for never judging me when I am being too dramatic or overreacting in situations. Thank you for always telling me when I am overthinking or over analyzing interactions.

Thank you for supporting me through all of my decisions, whether or not you agree with them. I appreciate it when you point out my mistakes and look out for me. Thank you for telling me the truth, whether it is hard to hear. Thank you for wanting the best for me and help shaping me into the person that I am today. Thank you for always being such good influences on me. Furthermore, thank you for never ever giving up on me. You guys help make me a stronger person.

Most importantly, thank you for letting me be me. I feel comfortable being around you and never feel vulnerable. I trust you guys completely and feel like I can tell you guys almost anything. I never have to pretend to be someone that I am not. Sometimes, you guys know me better than I know myself.

Lastly, thank you for being you. Each and every one of you have made my life a little bit more perfect. I love you all.

Cover Image Credit: Tingting Bi

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To The Girl Who Always Feels Left Out

Maybe next time...
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To the girl who always feels left out,

Girl, let me just tell you, I know the feeling. It feels as though my whole life, I have been that girl. You know that feeling when you are standing in a group of people and someone comes up and asks everyone to go to lunch in that group... But you?

Or they make it even worse by saying "Oh, I guess you can come too." You guess I can come to?

No, thank you.

At that point, you feel like the only reason you are being invited is that they feel like they have to. Which more than likely is actually the case. What about when you ask your friend to hang out and she can't because she will be doing homework all night? However, an hour later, you see her with your other best friend. Oh okay cool, sorry for bothering you with my friendship.

You know you are the girl who is always left out when you are the designated "photographer" or you have to specifically ask if you can take a picture with them because they are obviously done taking pictures and did not want one with you.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who 'Float' Between Friend Groups

We all know "Hey, will you take this picture of us?" all too well. Am I right, ladies? Oh yeah, it is fine. I hate being in pictures. I definitely hate taking pictures to remember this wonderful time I'm having.

What about when you and your friends discuss doing something later during the week and you ask about it but "It's probably not happening anymore." Then you check and would you look at that, your "friends" are having fun without you.

Shocker.

Oh but don't worry about it, I had things to do anyway. You know, clean the house, work on homework that is due next week, binge-watch The Office for the third time this week. Fun stuff. Oh and better yet when you see your friends are hanging out without you. The next time they see you, they talk about how much fun they had.

Oh yes, please tell me about how much fun you had without me. I totally enjoy hearing about how "I totally missed out" and "I should have come." Well, an invite would have been well appreciated. But maybe next time, right? Wrong.


Yeah, I know what you are thinking, "Wow this girl is being so petty." Well if you are thinking that, then you obviously do not know the feeling. And to think about it, you probably are not the one in the friend group who is being left out. So think about who that person is and make them feel included next time. It would be greatly appreciated. You do not know how much of a difference it could make.

Yes, I know everyone feels left out sometimes, but time after time, it starts to get really old. Then after you have to start inviting yourself to hang out with people, you realize well since they are not inviting me themselves, maybe they don't want me here. And then surprisingly, you stop hanging out with them. Hmmm, I wonder what could've possibly happened.


Yes, I know, most people do not do this on purpose. I am sure I have even done it once or twice without realizing it, and I am truly sorry.

From one left out girl to another,

Good Luck

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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The Shape Of The Monster: Depression

The second piece in a series about mental illness.

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The last thing I want to do is glorify mental illness, give it a platform, give it a name. But I need to talk about it, to work through it, to show that it's something many people experience.

It goes like this.

Hey! Sorry I haven't called you back. Everything has been so busy.

Every time I think about even picking up the phone and calling you, something heavy but familiar sets in my stomach like a weight.

You know how things get.

You know how easy it is to want to slip into absolute nothingness, right?

I've been trying to write, but my writer's block has been limiting me a lot.

Everything I write is so bad. The flow is off. It doesn't sound like me. It feels so crooked and wrong. I can't do anything right.

How are things? Has work been alright?

I hope you feel successful. I hope things are easier for you. I hope you are as happy as you seem.

I'm okay.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere. I feel crooked and wrong like I just want to scream and cry and dissolve.

I've just been so tired!

I have been tired for at least a decade. Tired of never sleeping. Tired of never feeling anything more than either absolute devastation and absolute nothingness. Tired. Tired. Tired.

I hope I can see you soon.

I hope I can bring myself to get out of bed and out into the world. I hope I can force myself to shower, and get dressed, and be a contributor to society, to social obligations.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I love you.

I love you.

I promise to call as soon as things lighten up a bit.

As long as the chemical imbalance doesn't destroy me altogether, hopefully, I can feign vague interest for a short phone call.

Goodbye.

Goodbye for now, maybe goodbye forever, maybe I'll work up the courage to call you in another 2, 5, 7 weeks or so. My life is made of "maybes." Maybe one-day things will be better. Maybe one day I'll be happy. Maybe one day I won't be anything. Maybe.

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