We have all heard it before.
"You only like him for his looks," "He's totally in love with you and you are just using him," "What are we??" Not everyone understands the difference between being in love and lusting over someone.
Signs of lust
- You're totally focused on a person's looks.
- You're interested in having sex and only sex.
- You'd rather not discuss feelings.
Signs of love
- You want to spend quality time together.
- You want the person to be happy.
- He or she motivates you to be a better person.
Love is about commitment and communication. These two important components lead to stability within a relationship. Lust is about being obsessed with his outside, his appearance. When it comes to lust, you know from the beginning there is no future. You won't want a “grown-up” life with him/her. For example, you will not want to own a dog with someone you lust over. However, you might want to adopt 12 dogs with the person you are in love with.
Being in love means having things in common, lusting means nothing but sex in common. When you are in love, you want to get to know a person. Their aspirations, what their family is like, etc. Being only attracted to a person doesn't usually lead to meaningful conversation.
This isn't ruling out the possibility that lust can turn into love, because it most definitely can. Two people can turn lust into love when they get past the "fantasy level" that they are at. Anything is possible!
So which are you feeling at this moment? Are you falling in love, or are you just lusting over them? Ask yourself these questions before jumping to conclusions.
1. Have you known this person a long time?
2. What did you notice about this person first? Appearance or personality?
3. Have you had the "feelings talk" with this person? (We all know what this entails)
4. Are you going on dates, hanging out, or getting the late night text?
After answering these questions, do you feel confident in your relationship? Or did everything you thought you knew come crumbling down?
Lusting is never a bad thing, it is completely normal and something people do all the time. But if you are looking for something more serious, consider more than appearance and sex when it comes to your significant other.
My suggestion is to decide what you want before getting into anything. Do you want to get to know someone, their family, their life? Or do you want something more casual? You decide what you want in life. You decide how far you are willing to go with a person. Just remember to put your happiness first.
