Dear Bentley,
Words
cannot even express the love I have for you. Somehow, despite the fact
that we are different species, and we can't talk, I feel like you
understand the deepest parts of my soul. I remember the day we first met
- you were really little, and awkward. And so was I. I sat down on the
floor and among your brothers, you were put on the floor as well. You
darted right up to me and threw yourself in my lap and I just knew. It
was love at first sight. Waiting a few weeks to bring you home felt like
an eternity, and yet, finally. the day arrived and we were officially
united - best friends till the very end.
I
was anxious and nervous; suddenly I didn't have just myself to take
care of anymore - I had you too. You cried the first few nights; I
wanted to cry too. I would sleep next to your kennel on the floor, and I
would poke my hand in through the bars to try and calm you down. And
then I gave you Bullseye, the stuffed animal horse from Toy Story, and
you would snuggle up against him at night and sleep like a baby.
I
used to be able to pick you up and hold you like a baby, when you were
really tiny and small and awkward. When your head was too big for your
body and your feet were too large for your legs. You slept a lot too; I
don't blame you, being adorable is a lot of work. And with each passing
day, somehow I fell in love with you more than I had ever imagined I
could. I never knew a person could love something as much as I love you.
And
then you started to get big. I all but blinked and suddenly you were
the size of a horse! Your fur got longer; your body changed so that your
paws were no longer too big for the rest of your body. Your chest got
wide and massive, and I couldn't pick you up anymore. Although that
didn't stop you from climbing into my lap and snuggling and pretending you were still small.
We
have had lots of adventures together; we've taken hikes together, cried
together, hurt together, howled together, snuggled together, gone on
walks together, held hands and ridden in cars. We've played fetch and
chase, and somehow, even though we have done it probably a hundred
times, it never gets old. And pretty soon we ditched your kennel and you
ended up sleeping in my bed - every night. And I wouldn't have it any
other way.
Things
were perfect and wonderful for us, and then I got sick. And I was
tired. And I cried a whole lot; more than I've ever cried in my entire
life. Despite all of my tears and sadness, you stuck around. Every time
you saw me crying, you were quick to run to me and try to love on me.
You would nuzzle under my arm and my neck and remind me that you were
there and things were going to be okay. I had spent the last two years
taking care of you, but now you were starting to take care of me. You
never left my side, not once. You would lie beside me on the couch or up
in my bed, or you would sit on the floor near me, making sure that I
was never alone or afraid. You would wiggle your nose into my palm, and
even though it was kind of gross, your wet nose was comforting. It takes
a lot of love, commitment and sacrifice to sit with a girl that is all
tears and exhaustion.
Friendship
comes from unlikely places, and if you would've asked me five years ago
that I would be raising you, I would've said the chances weren't
likely. Friendship can exceed the bonds of people; friendship can be
found in four-legged, furry friends. You became my best friend in July
of 2013, but it feels like we've known each other our entire lives.
I
often joke about how you are my "spirit guide", like how Aang has Appa
or how Aragorn has Brego or how Harry Potter has Hedwig. You're the yin
to my yang and the color to my black and white and the peanut butter to
my jelly (I know how much you love that). And I couldn't imagine a world
where you weren't in it, because you mean so very much to me. You have
been my greatest investment, my closest friend, my confidant and my
adventure buddy.
Let's keep running through life together.
Love always,
- H
