“Coffee is a language in itself.” –Jackie Chan
“I gave up coffee, it’s almost worse than giving up a lover.” –Sandra Bullock
“If it wasn’t for coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman
“People don’t stop eating, and they don’t stop drinking coffee.” –Magic Johnson
Coffee and pizza are quite similar. If the pizza is bad, it’s still pizza. If the coffee is bad, it’s still coffee. A bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.
Dear Coffee,
You are a beautiful, wonderful thing, and my life would not be complete without you. There is never a time when I don’t become elated at the prospect of meeting you again.
Waiting for you to brew is an agonizing, painstakingly, miserable and tiring time for me. But nothing makes me happier than when the wait is over! When I take that first sip, my taste buds explode and I’m instantly energized. Bold, rich, and slightly bitter, you are the perfect start to my day!
Without you, I am a grumpy, sluggish, lazy person that no one wants to be around. Coffee, you complete me and make me human again. Without you, I have no motivation to get out of bed in the morning. Without you, I can’t function like a normal, contributing member of society.
Some people don’t love you as much as I do. They say you’re as addicting as an illegal substance. They say that you are cancerous. Well, they don’t know you like I do.
When someone claims they don’t like you, it’s because they haven’t gotten to know you. They only see the negatives in you and they haven’t experienced the magical healing properties you contain, like your ability to turn a tired, grumpy, zombieish person into a fully functioning, energized, determined student. And the people who haven’t had that experience may claim to hate you. It’s amazing! They don’t know that you help keep a healthy heart and promote memory function. These people that don’t like you just don’t understand you.
My love for you is and all-consuming love. I love you like you a mother loves a child. A child is a part of the mother, and you are apart of me, my soul. I may sound crazy to some, but the people who can’t go a day without seeing you at least twice, maybe three times, the people who love you as much as I do, they understand my love and don’t question it.
Sometimes people try to get me to break up with you. They say I need to “kick the habit.” Those people are ignorant and don’t understand our relationship. They don’t know that you are a vital part of my personality.
All in all, I love you coffee. You will be a part of my being for the rest of my life. There is nothing I would rather wake up to in the morning than you, not tea, not juice, and definitely not milk (unless coffee was mixed in).
Love,
Everyone who loves coffee
P.S. See you soon!
