If someone were to ask me what the best part about being Mikayla Lawrence was (I don’t know why they would, but just pretend), I would say being an aunt to the cutest, sweetest baby boy the world has ever known. I think my family can tell how much I love my cousins and nephew because they always tell me the babies look like me even though they absolutely don’t -- but that doesn’t mean I don’t pretend they’re being serious and secretly jump for joy, because why wouldn’t I want the most beautiful children I’ve ever seen to resemble little old me? My opinions may be biased, but that doesn’t change the fact that I adore kids. Yet, at 19, I have already decided I don’t want any of my own.
I know this article is going to infuriate my mom (sorry, Mom), but if there was one thing that differentiates her generation from my own, it’s that I’m a Millennial, and Millennials don’t want kids. Cynicism is a Millennial language, and if you ask me, women speak it much more fluently than men -- we were raised by people who gave us everything during a time when we had to fight for equal rights and independence, which made us selfish. When the constitution of a Millennial woman is higher rates of earning a college degree, political and religious independence from parents, and general open-mindedness, it’s hard to picture one giving up her dreams for another human being, even if that was the norm in the past.
It is a common assumption made by the previous generation that ours is similar, given its time period is just an extension from the years before. If that were the case, there would never be any societal change, which has already proven untrue thus far by the election of our first black president, the legalization of gay marriage and marijuana, and the frequent questioning of religious beliefs. Nowadays, women have more rights and responsibilities beyond caring for the children and having dinner ready by the time her husband comes home (I’m sorry, but I barely know how to make cereal, so that's never going to happen).
My family setting wasn’t traditional, and the unconventional factors of my childhood set a standard for how I grew up: my parents were divorced, but my mom worked just as much as my dad, and my dad cooked and cleaned probably more than my mom did. I never knew about the feminine expectation to cook and clean instead of work because that was nonexistent in my household. Similarly, neither my parents nor my oldest sister went to college, so it was never pushed on me, though certainly encouraged. However, I saw firsthand what the alternative to a college degree was, and it was usually motherhood. Though it changed the lives of both my mother and my sister for the better, it was never something I envisioned for myself for the opposite reasons they did: I wasn’t, still am not, and maybe won’t ever be ready to give up my life for another human being before I have realized my own dreams. I’m so lucky to be able to go to college, and I’m proud of myself for accompanying my cousin as a first-generation student, so there’s no way I’m not taking advantage of that.
Of course it’s definitely hard to ignore the natural instinct most women have, mine especially; being a Millennial who doesn’t want kids certainly does not stem from not loving children. Do you want to know how much I love my nephew? One time I went in to give him a kiss and he projectile vomited right in my mouth, and not only did I not mind, I literally aww’d. I can genuinely say I know what my nephew’s puke tastes like, and I still thought it was adorable.
I’m a good aunt, and I know I would be a good mother; it’s in my nature, it’s in my blood, but it’s not something I truly want. Maybe some day when I have finally reached a point in my life where I can say I am satisfied with my achievements, I’ll reconsider. But for now, I’m going to appreciate my mom, love on my nephew, and that's good enough.
