It seems like every love song’s moral is that love is always enough. It’s fine if you don’t have any money, you have love. It’s fine if you don’t have any aspirations in life, you have love. It’s totally fine that the two of you have nothing in common, that only one of you wants to travel the world, that only one of you wants eight kids because you just love each other so much. But what are you supposed to do when you don’t have love?

What are you supposed to do once the way that they chew makes you leave the table? What are you supposed to do when you are beyond the point of speaking because they couldn’t remember the ONE thing that you needed from the store? What are you supposed to do when you can’t stand the sight of that person? Fall back on one of the many intellectual topics that you love to discuss? Oh, wait…

You won’t because there is nothing to talk about. There is nothing you have in common; nothing to share during those moments when the love that you feel now is nowhere to be found.

I’ve seen a perfectly fine relationship fall apart. They got along. They had fun together. Their families liked each other. They loved each other, but after a while, one of them realized that it just wasn’t enough. The whole deal was heartbreaking solely because before it happened, nothing was wrong. Neither side saw it coming; how could they? Everything seemed fine.

But in the end, love is never enough. Long-lasting relationships need so much more than that.

There needs to be a general sense of compatibility and companionship. That’s why couples who were friends first always seem to end up in better shape than those who were not. The couple should be able to have fun together, but not always by going out to an expensive dinner or a movie. While most would agree that going out is fun, there needs to be joy in the small things in life. What if the two of you could have fun just by doing the dishes after a meal? Or singing one of your favorite songs?

The couple should generally have similar morals. What if one person thinks that church every Sunday is an absolute necessity while the other is fine with going once every Christmas?

And what about travel and home life? What if one person is completely fine with moving every couple of years while the other couldn’t ever see themselves living anywhere but their hometown?

Telling everyone that everything is going to be ok because they have love is a lie. You can truly be in love with someone who is utterly toxic. Someone who is going absolutely nowhere in life and has no intention of changing for you. It would be ridiculous to tell that person that if they are in love, it’ll all be ok. I mean really, if all relationships were successful solely based on love, it would be much too easy.