Love Doesn't Exist

It doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t have any rules, or guidelines. It’s not definitive, and it’s not forever. Yes, love is not forever. If you’ve dated more than one person it doesn’t make you a bad person, but it raises questions as to your understanding of “love.” You’ve probably said “I love you” to each of those people at least once. But if each time you said it, it was true, then that means you stopped loving them eventually right? After all, you did break up. People told me “love is forever,” but that is clearly not true.

“Love” doesn’t necessarily have an “expiration date,” but it does “expire" in a way. The feeling gets old, the infatuation wears off, and the “rose-colored glasses” come off. So you stop loving, you move on, and find someone new. And then you “love” them, but you still have no idea what that means. Dragging people along for the ride while you try to find the definition of “love.” But here’s the thing: you don’t know what “love” is, because it doesn’t exist. It’s not a real emotion.

The true definition of “love” is “an intense feeling of deep affection.” This already indicates that “love” is not forever, and is indeed temporary. If at any point, that feeling of deep affection wears off, then the “love” is gone. When someone says “love is a strong word,” that is, indeed, true. But unfortunately, we as a society just throw it around. We “love” a lot of different things. When we “love” so many things, it leads me to question the validity of the statement.

Explain to me how my love for my cat might differ from my love for a significant other. How would my girlfriend know that I love her more than my cat? I use the same words and phrases, don’t I? I say “I love you” to my cat, and I would say it to my girlfriend, so how does the meaning differ? Essentially, we all know the meanings are different, because, of course, I’m not dating my cat. But it proves that by using the same word, it heavily degrades the meaning, making the word itself almost meaningless.

I don’t think you “love” anything, or anyone. You strongly like your phone, or your car, and you have an intense feeling of deep affection for your family, or significant other. But you don’t love them because love isn’t real. Even if you have that feeling of deep affection with your significant other or family member until you die, it was still temporary. And whether you noticed or not, it probably wore off long before “death do us part.” “Love” is very much a situational feeling. When all is going well, “loving” is easy, but when the going gets tough, the “love” gets going.

Hard times erode that feeling of deep affection, because you learn about that person and how they handle the bad times, and yikes, they are really lazy, or mean, or violent. And just like that, the relationship is over. I am a strong believer in dating for multiple years, in excess of at least 3, prior to engagement. Make it like a “mock marriage.” Marriage, unlike “love,” is very permanent. And if you aren’t satisfied within 60 days, you cannot get your money back. You’re stuck with it. And your life could end up being a living hell.

I haven’t gone through a breakup recently, and I’m not trying to crap all over your “perfect love life” (it’s not perfect, though). I’m just saying that the concept of “love” is impractical and very foolish. You don’t and won’t “love” them forever. Trust me. And if you do, then it still isn’t love, it’s just a very intense feeling of deep affection. Love isn’t an emotion, or even a legitimate feeling. It’s just…deep affection. Which CAN be, but is not always, very temporary.