Do you notice when people you’re sort of friends with take time to wish you a “happy birthday” on Facebook? Probably not. A friend of mine jokingly changed my Facebook birthday to May, when my birthday is actually in October. Due to privacy settings, I was unable to change the date back to my real birthday. I got several wall posts wishing me a happy birthday, but none of them seemed sincere. My best friend texted me, jokingly calling me "needy" for wanting a copious amount of birthday wishes five months early. Even though the birthday posts were a nice and polite gesture, all of the people posting on my wall had no idea when my real birthday was.
I’m in a love-hate relationship with Facebook because it makes “remembering” someone’s birthday effortless. As a forgetful person, I really do appreciate the reminder. I’ve come dangerously close to forgetting peoples’ birthdays, even if they are some of my closest friends (oh, and if you're one of my close friends who is reading this now, I'm sorry I almost forgot your birthday). Even though Facebook is a useful tool, that doesn't mean that we should solely rely on it for remembering birthdays. The sacred words "happy birthday" become trivial, impersonal, and overused. Tragically, Facebook promotes laziness in our relationships and downplays the overall importance of birthdays.
Okay, okay. I realize how ridiculous that sounds—“the overall importance of birthdays.” When you step back and think, it’s actually ridiculous how much society cares about birthdays in the first place. This importance is socially constructed, and we get extremely offended (probably way too offended) when someone we care about doesn’t remember our “special day.” To everyone else, it’s just an ordinary day of the year. To us, it is our chance to be recognized and appreciated. We transform into complete divas (because we can) and celebrate our own existence for an entire day or an entire weekend if we dare. Yes, it's completely ridiculous, but it’s also awesome. With the power of technology, we now just expect people to know when it's our birthday. The information is readily available to anyone. So how can we differentiate between the people who truly value us and those who don't? It's no secret that a "happy birthday" post isn't sufficient recognition from a true friend.
Don't get me wrong, the birthday notifications are definitely a perk. Still, we shouldn't brush off someone's special day just because social media makes it easy to do so. Accept personal responsibility and strive towards knowing your friend's birthday without the help of Facebook. As I said, I'm sometimes guilty of this too, but I've found that setting birthday reminders in my phone always pays off. There are innovative ways to wish someone a happy birthday in a more personal fashion. Your efforts will not go unnoticed or unappreciated. We always remember who remembers our birthday. Your birthday is not just a day to celebrate your existence, it allows you to discover who your true friends are.
(P.S. -- I'm praying that my Facebook page isn't void of "happy birthday" wall posts on October 4 after writing this article.)
