As a freshman in college, I was expected to miss home. I was forced to attend meetings and seminars on how to adjust to being on your own or ways to cope with homesickness. Every day, I would talk to someone about how they missed their hometown or could not wait to get back. Everyone seemed to struggle with being homesick. I did not.
When I say I was never truly homesick, do not take that the wrong way. I still loved my family, and I missed them deeply. I did (and still do) love my hometown and its atmosphere and go back eventually. I loved my old life - I was happy there - I just had no desire to go back. For a long time, I felt guilty about my lack of homesickness. I thought that since everyone else seemed to miss home, I had to be a terrible daughter who did not love her family enough or an awful friend who never truly cared about those around her. I felt like my love for others was lessened because I did not have some overwhelming desire to go home which made me cry myself to sleep at night. I was wrong.
Just because you love someone (or love a place) does not mean you have to be around them all the time. Love is not measured by trips home or tears shed alone in your room ten hours away from your hometown. Love is showing the people who matter to you that you care for them even when you do not get to see them every day, every week, every month, or even a whole semester. I still loved my family because I called them and video called them and sent them texts throughout the day. I still loved them because even if they were not with me, they were in my thoughts.
After school ended, I was home for just over a week before leaving again, this time to work at a summer camp two hours away. And once again, I do not miss home. I do not miss school either. I miss my family and friends, but really nothing more; and I've come to realize something. Life is a journey filled with stops. Sometimes, you stay somewhere for years, sometimes months, sometimes only days. But like anyone who has ever been on a road trip knows, you cannot enjoy one site if you are stuck thinking about the one you just left. If you visit the Grand Canyon, you do not spend your time there reminiscing about Hawaii, you enjoy the moment and place you are living in now.
That does not mean Hawaii is any less beautiful or meaningful, only that now you have something different to focus your time and effort on. So, if you are like me and you have felt guilty in the past because you do not miss the life you leave behind when you go on to a new adventure, it is ok. Live in the moment. Your love and experiences in your past are not validated by your feelings in the present, and if you ever go back there you can still love it like before. Just remember to never stop loving the people, because those are the ones who matter. They are the ones who stay with you, even if you are 900 miles away.
