You think you know who you are, and who you want to be when you’re about to graduate high school. You think that who you are is who you’re going to be, and you think the things in your life are going to stay in the same places they are. You never realize that in the span of three years that you’re going to be a completely different person, and those things in your life may not even be there anymore.
I’ve learned that people are not permanent, and no matter how badly you want them to stay in place in your life, they don’t have to. Should you let them go freely as they please? Probably. But, what if you feel like your life is missing something that you can’t replace without them? You have to try.
I realized over the span of three years that I didn’t need anyone. I didn’t need someone to help me with my problems, or to love me when I couldn’t. I toughened my own skin and decided that I would be there for myself, and after being this way for so long when people left my life, I didn’t care. I went on with my life because I couldn’t stop it just because someone didn’t want to stay in it.
When something goes wrong I face it, because I know I can. When my parents went separate ways and when I realized I don’t really have a stable thing to call a family, I decided to become the glue to help everything stay together. When the person I loved told me they didn’t like who I was anymore, I became someone I liked so I didn’t have to care about the opinion of others.
What happens when something from the beginning of your journey makes it’s way back to you? What happens when they come back and they can so easily fit right back into the place where they left? I’m not sure how or why something like this happened, but I learned that if you find yourself coming back to someone over a span of three years, there must be something special about them. There must be something about them that your soul can’t help but intertwine with.
I don’t feel the love I once did, but every day I feel like I could. I am not the same person I once was, but God, I love who I am now and I know the person I am today can be everything someone could ever want.
I’m so young and I have so much time. I don’t want to waste it; I want to have fun and do everything that I want while I still have the chance. I’ve laid next to different people in the morning, but my soul is never happy when I wake up. I want that back so badly. I want to stay up all night with someone because we’d rather have each other’s company than a good night’s rest. I want to wake up in the morning next to someone that knows me, and someone that appreciates me as a person. I want it to mean something.
I know that sometimes we have the tendency to give ourselves to other people, but does it feel like it does when it’s with that one person? Is it as fun and silly and innocently comfortable like it would be with that one person?
It’s been three years and I can honestly say that the same person has my heart more than anyone I’ve met. The same amazing person I met three years ago still crosses my mind at random times in the day, and can still make me laugh, and can still give me butterflies every time they’re close to me.
Three years, 1095 days, and I still feel so lucky to know this one person. Doesn’t that mean anything? It means, if someone makes you happy then let them in your life. Stop thinking about what could go wrong and just let them bring you happiness. When two people find happiness from one another it’s something that shouldn’t be thrown away… even if it’s three years later.