I Love College, But I Miss My Life Before College

I Love College, But I Miss My Life Before College

Life before college was easy.
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The thought of college actually aways really scared me, the thought of packing up all of your stuff and moving away to practically live in a room with a bunch of strangers. Sure, college has its glorious parts like the parties and being away from parents nagging on you and, of course, it's a fresh start, but for some of us, fresh starts are hard to comprehend.

I miss my everyday routine. Waking up earlier and going to classes for a longer time sounds like a ridiculous request, but high school was fun at times. Sure it's much nicer now to pick when you go to class and have breaks in between classes to nap, but there's nothing like knowing every single person's name in your class and maybe knowing a little bit about them too. I miss seeing familiar faces everywhere I look. Now, it's a shock if you even see someone from a class you have every other day walking on campus.

I miss coming home to things waiting for me like my dog with his tail wagging or a warm meal on the table that might even be a little cold by the time I eat it. In college, all you'll get waiting for you is the loads and loads of homework piling up or you could get the loads of dirty clothes you left on the floor because you don't even have the time to pick them up.

I miss the comfort of my own home. NOTHING is as homey as the house that you grew up in, and you won't realize this enough until you're away from it. I miss how comfortable my bed really is, no twin size, mattress pad or twin XL comforter will ever be comparable to sleep in at that level of comfort. I miss the feeling of showering without flip flops and on a time limit. No hard, unsoftened water shower in college will ever make you feel as clean as the one in your own home.

I miss my clique. Some of us have been blessed to have found an amazing friend group in high school. College creates such a distance, besides location, between you and your friends. You may be so used to talking on the daily and sharing every detail with your close friends, you may have even made a promise to talk every Tuesday at 2 p.m.; however, life gets crazy and that every week thing turns into every other week and eventually we find ourselves getting lost, not even knowing what was said last to them.

I miss the little things that I don't get to do in college. I miss being able to drive and being so familiar in my town that I lose focus on the actual task of driving and find myself in my own little world. I miss being able to go to any destination I want when I want, like the mall or to get a specific food. I miss being able to spend my time how I want it and not feeling stuck.

I miss the familiarity of everything. Days go by and months go by and soon years will go by. College is a large part of our lives; it changes us. It changes our routines, our comfort zones and just about every little aspect of our lives will soon change. It's so easy to get caught up in these things and let our minds be stuck on what life was like before this whole universe existed. But soon in four or a few more years our lives will be completely flipped again and we have to trust that all of those things before this life will either go back to how they were or they will be even better.

At the end of the day, college gives you so much, even when it's hard to see at times, college is a pretty weird/cool thing.

Cover Image Credit: Sierra Gardner

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To The Girl Who Had A Plan

A letter to the girl whose life is not going according to her plan.
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“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” - William Ernest Henley

Since we were little girls we have been asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We responded with astronauts, teachers, presidents, nurses, etc. Then we start growing up, and our plans change.

In middle school, our plans were molded based on our friends and whatever was cool at the time. Eventually, we went to high school and this question became serious, along with some others: “What are your plans for college?” “What are you going to major in?” “When do you think you’ll get married?” “Are you going to stay friends with your friends?” We are bombarded with these questions we are supposed to have answers to, so we start making plans.

Plans, like going to college with our best friends and getting a degree we’ve been dreaming about. Plans, to get married as soon as we can. We make plans for how to lose weight and get healthy. We make plans for our weddings and children.

SEE ALSO: 19 Pieces Of Advice From A Soon-To-Be 20-Year-Old

We fill our Pinterest boards with these dreams and hopes that we have, which are really great things to do, but what happens when you don’t get into that college? What happens when your best friend chooses to go somewhere else? Or, what if you don’t get the scholarship you need or the awards you thought you deserved. Maybe, the guy you thought you would marry breaks your heart. You might gain a few pounds instead of losing them. Your parents get divorced. Someone you love gets cancer. You don’t get the grades you need. You don’t make that collegiate sports team. The sorority you’re a legacy to, drops you. You didn’t get the job or internship you applied for. What happens to you when this plan doesn’t go your way?

I’ve been there.

The answer for that is “I have this hope that is an anchor for my soul.” Soon we all realize we are not the captain of our fate. We don’t have everything under control nor will we ever have control of every situation in our lives. But, there is someone who is working all things together for the good of those who love him, who has a plan and a purpose for the lives of his children. His name is Jesus. When life takes a turn you aren’t expecting, those are the times you have to cling to Him the tightest, trusting that His plan is what is best. That is easier said than done, but keep pursuing Him. I have found in my life that His plans were always better than mine, and slowly He’s revealing that to me.

The end of your plan isn’t the end of your life. There is more out there. You may not be the captain of your fate, but you can be the master of your soul. You can choose to be happy despite your circumstances. You can change directions at any point and go a different way. You can take the bad and make something beautiful out of it, if you allow God to work in your heart.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Patiently Waiting With An Impatient Heart

So, make the best of that school you did get in to. Own it. Make new friends- you may find they are better than the old ones. Apply for more scholarships, or get a job. Move on from the guy that broke your heart; he does not deserve you. God has a guy lined up for you who will love you completely. Spend all the time you can with the loved one with cancer. Pray, pray hard for healing. Study more. Apply for more jobs, or try to spend your summer serving others instead. Join a different club or get involved in other organizations on campus. Find your delight first in God and then pursue other activities that make you happy; He will give you the desires of your heart.

My friend, it is going to be OK.

Cover Image Credit: Megan Beavers Photography

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Today, I'm Grateful For The Accident That Nearly Ended Everything

It changed my life for the worse — and then for the better.

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Four years ago, on August 5th, 2014, I was in a car accident on highway I-80. We swerved over the median and into oncoming traffic. I was in the front passenger seat so I was at the point of impact. I broke my right hand, my right leg and I got a traumatic brain injury. I was in the hospital for almost two months and then was in therapy for a few months after that.

Though it was subtle, the accident changed me as a person and at first, I hated it. I wanted to go back to the way I was before and didn't understand why I couldn't. But looking back, I'm happy the accident happened and turned me into who I am today.

It's an odd thing to say, right? I'm glad my life and personality were almost permanently changed due to this traumatic car accident. But let me explain.

Before the accident, I was a shy little thing that didn't like to talk about my problems. I was depressed but no one knew so I wasn't getting the help I needed. After the accident, however, it was like a dam had broken in me. I couldn't stop talking and I was telling everyone about my problems. I was an introvert that suddenly had to navigate how to be an extrovert. I had to learn where the line was of what was appropriate to say and talk about and what wasn't.

Thankfully, after four years, I have a therapist to help me with my mental health and I think I have the whole socializing thing down... for the most part.

Another benefit of the accident is that is showed me who my real friends are. Most people who I considered to be my friends visited me for my first month out of the hospital. They would tell me how classes are going and how they missed me but then they would talk about themselves and their problems like I was only there to listen; I wasn't supposed to talk about my problems but I did. Some of them drifted away and didn't text me or ask me to hang out with them after a few months. It really hurt and made me really sad and wonder, "What did I do?" I felt so alone.

Eventually, I realized that how they were acting was not my fault and if they treated me like that, then they weren't my real friends. It taught me how I deserve to be treated and it's okay if the only company you have is you.

One of the best good things that came out of the whole hospitalization thing is that I got a dog! His name is Winchester, Chester for short, and he is a mini husky. I picked him out from pictures my dad showed me and I liked that he had one eye that was half brown and half blue. I went with my dad to pick him up from the breeder in Kansas only a week after I got out of the hospital. Chester sat on my lap the whole three hours home. My parents got him for me because they thought it would be nice for me to have a little companion and they were right. He doesn't bark or pee in the house, he's loyal, he can be playful but he can also be lazy. He is the bestest little puppers ever and I love him so much!

Moral of the story: If you want a dog but your parents won't get you one, get in an accident that almost kills you and then maybe they'll get you a dog. (But really don't do that.)

Throughout the years, I've spent too much time thinking about what would have happened if I hadn't gotten in the car that day. But I think this was something that was meant to happen to me. If I hadn't been in that accident, I might've gotten hurt a different way and my injuries could have been worse. I am actually thankful that this happened to me because if it hadn't, who knows the kind of person I would be today?

Plus, if it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have gotten a dog and he makes my life so much better so I'm glad I have him.

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