I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe there are two people as meant for each other as the ocean is meant to meet the sand. There are seven billion of us in the world. If soul mates are real, that's bullshit. My soul mate could be across the world, and I could never find him. He could be down the street and leave for work at 5:30 sharp every morning, but we'll never cross paths, even during a morning stop at a deli; because I don't wake up until ten in the morning, don't leave my house until two, and by that time he's on his way home but he takes an opposite route. So I'm five hours and a couple highways off from ever meeting him.

Maybe some people believe. They believe they'll get so lucky to run into the person made for them. They'll wait for their literal other half. I don't know how much you all know about soul mates, or, if you even believe or care. But legend is God made us all and split us in half because we were too strong as a whole and we'd spend however long searching for that other half. So basically, God didn't want us to be more powerful than him (selfish, I know) so he physically split us in half, placed us God knows where (literally), and made us all go batshit crazy looking for each other. Dick move, right? If you're super religious and a total Jesus freak, I'm sorry if I offended you. I'm sorry even more for referring to you as Jesus freaks. But c'mon, right? Who does that?

Anyway, I consider myself ever the realist in life, so I prefer to think of love as a choice, not fate, not destiny. Hard work and dedication. God, why does everyone think things just fall together and into our laps nowadays? Let me tell you, you don't just make a relationship work by sitting on your ass and doing nothing. The occasional date night, communication, loyalty, compromise, blah, blah, blah. Oh, and sex. We're human beings. We need some physical communication every once in a while.

That's the problem with today's relationships. They're all lacking something. No one is giving 100%. Some might talk a lot but haven't banged in months. Yes, I said banged. That's no good for the soul. Some people only have sex and don't even communicate about the lack of communication. Then we have our obvious problem starters. Our cheaters, liars, alcoholics, gamblers, wife or husband beaters, and all that. I'm a firm believer in having fun, but if you're in a relationship, it's not just about you anymore.

In the simplest and most ruthless way to put it, but:

No relationship means you have time for fun. A relationship means saying goodbye to fun.

I know it's harsh. But is it not true? Ladies, don't tell me every time you go out you don't get the "have fun with your other boyfriend" text. Followed by a novel of accusations. Or something along those lines.

And guys, tell me every time you're out with the boys and your girlfriend texts you "have fun" you know that you should DEFINITELY NOT HAVE FUN.

I know there are some people out there who this doesn't relate to. Specifically those "my boyfriend is my best friend" girls. Your time will come.

Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not saying relationships suck even though even writing this I know it totally seems like that's exactly what I'm saying. I'm saying that we, as a species, suck. We are either born shitty and unfit to ever truly love, or we let those shitty people turn us into people who can never have love. It's a lose-lose situation. We took something that was once so beautiful and so pure and so amazing and filled it with trust issues and jealousy and technology and unrealistic standards.

We let the past consume us. We let subtweets consume us. We let the fact that our boyfriend/girlfriend liked another person's picture on Instagram consume us. We bring problems from our last relationship with us into our next one. Emotions we felt in our past relationship become catalysts, starting fights in our new relationship. Don't get me wrong, we all have skeletons in our closet but why can't we just keep them there? Why do we have to pull them out as if it's show and tell or a god damn haunted house? We should be locking the door on this closet, or moving out all together. After all, there's a fucking skeleton in there. How terrifying is that.