There’s something to be said for being a part of something outside of yourself. I wake for the chance of becoming myself. I exist for the hope of tomorrow. I am, more than certainly, invested in the future.

I am at your local bookstore, planted at the high top near the self-help section. I am watching a young couple laugh. She’s a redheaded teacher, or day care assistant maybe. He’s a scholarly but fun young professional. They’re taking ceramics classes at the local community college. They’re making dinner and love. They’re attending close friends’ weddings. Their refrigerator is stocked with vegetables and fruit, not leftovers and beer.

I open my laptop and browse through the open tabs: “How to overcome depression” “10 ways to enhance your life” “7 simple tricks to attract the woman of your dreams” “5 powerful affirmations” “30 ways to kill yourself.”