Love, it's a complicated term and one I'm still trying to figure out. When we're young we are told that love is something that's sort of like a fairy tale. We meet our prince charming so easily and like all the books say, "And they lived happily ever after." In most books, prince charming is so quick to find and there's no complications or doubts, it just flows easy. You don't second-guess anything, fight or have those negative thoughts constantly telling you day after day that you're not good enough for that certain someone in your life.

I guess that's why they call it fairy tales because, in real life, prince charming is not only not easy to find, he doesn't exist.

Now I'm not trying to sound pessimistic, I'm just telling you the truth. There really is no such thing as a perfect, heart-stopping, fireworks explosion great love that you read in those stories or hear in those songs. But, yet we still reread them and play them over and over again to numb that idea, myself included.

One artist that's basically her job at writing those types of songs is Taylor Swift. She has a way of writing songs that even if you've never been in love or heartbroken, you're still able to feel something from it.

I've been listening to her music since I was eleven years old. And when you're eleven and you're hearing "Our Song" play through your best friends iPod headphones you start to wonder what it'd be like to have a guy dedicate a song for the both of you. That every time it came on the radio you'd blast it so high knowing that he thought of you when he first heard it. But then what happens when you break up and now every time you hear that song played on the radio you turn it down or change the station?

I'm someone you would call a "cautiously headfirst romantic". And I know it looks like it makes no sense, but let me explain. When I first start talking to someone I tend to build my walls up extra high. Because in my past I've had them be broken down and disintegrated until they were nothing but dust. But then when I start getting to know this person and they slowly find ways to invite themselves into my world, I start to go too fast. And then I'll start daydreaming about certain scenarios that might not even happen and I build up too many expectations for what I want and when I want it.

Now, how does Taylor Swift come into all of this? Well, whenever I start to feel something for someone or I'm dating or in a relationship, I'll only listen to her music. Whether it be if something magical happened on a date, or this person I'm talking to seems really great or I just heard a guy tell me he loved me or thinks I'm pretty. I'll automatically put on one of her songs that can somewhat relate to that feeling I just got and try my absolute hardest to make it seem like everything she's singing is relatable to me at that moment.

I've tried my whole life to get the guys in my life to relate to a Taylor Swift song. Because I believed that if I could get one of them or that relationship I was in to perfectly match that song, that person would be the one. So, "Fifteen" was dedicated to the first boyfriend I had Freshman year of high school who told me he loved me over a text a month into our relationship. I ended it a month later because we may have said those three words to each other, but we said them without meaning.

"Come Back, Be Here" was dedicated to the first boy I kissed the day after prom my Senior year. We couldn't make the distance work and he broke up with me over text. "Out Of The Woods" was dedicated to the guy I dated my Senior year of college who ended up breaking up with me a month into it to date the girl who he introduced to me as his "really good friend." I'd like to think he didn't do this, but I also think of him when I play "Should've Said No."

"The Last Time," was dedicated to the boy who ghosted me in college and who still continues to try to talk to me only at 1:30 am. News flash, I'm still not going to respond to you. 'Wildest Dreams," was dedicated to the guy who only wanted to come to my place to "get some." Well, guess what? Not only did you not get some and have to stay at a hotel in my town because there was a snowstorm and I wasn't having you stay over, now the only place you'll find me is in your wildest dreams. By the way, your tattoos sucked.

Now, I could go excessively into all the songs my recent ex could fit into. For the whole time, we were in a relationship I wanted so bad for him to fit the song "Mine." I even told myself that if I could get someone to fit that song entirely then he'd be "the one." He fit well with "Begin Again," we met on a Wednesday in a cafe 8 months after my last terrible relationship. I wore a chain with his initial around my neck like she says in "Call It What You Want," and I saw "Sparks Fly" whenever I was with him.

But then it ended and those songs got replaced with countless replays of "All Too Well," "Last Kiss," "Forever And Always," and so much more.

So, even though I can fit every past lover into a Taylor Swift song, whether a heartbreak or love song, I'll never truly get one to fit my love life perfectly. And you know what, I'm okay with that. That's not to say I won't have one playing at my wedding, even if it brings up a certain time when I was in love with someone else or thought I was at least. I'm still hopeful, but I've lowered my standards with comparisons. Because Taylor Swift love songs are made up like fairy tales, which don't exist.

So, I'll have some fun being the villain and have "Blank Space" on repeat while I continue to have fun going out on dates.

Sorry to my eleven-year-old self pining over finding her Romeo, he doesn't exist. But someone good enough will be there for you someday.