Losing a parent is tough at any age, and the hole that it leaves can't ever be filled. When you lose a loved one, it's rough, but when you lose a parent, it's like that final blow before the knock-out -- like someone robbed you of all the air around you. As a little kid, your parent is always there. You never really noticed it before, but they're always around until they aren't. I lost my mom at the age of 10 and I'll never fully recover from it.

You think your parents are superheroes and that they'll be around to see everything and do everything that they need and want to do. I always figured that she'd be around, but she went to be with the Lord on November 6th, 2007, she was 35. I think the thing I feared the most was forgetting her. I had my aunt pay her cell phone bill for the next month just so I could call it and listen to her voicemail. In time, I forgot what she sounded like. I forgot the sound of her laughter and the sound of her crying and the sound of her excitement. She was such a happy person that it was infectious.

I think when it really hits you that they're gone, it leaves you with such an ache that it hurts to breathe. It takes a really time for things to almost go back to normal, but you know it'll never really be normal again. You see all of the things they loved or something that reminds you of them and you'll lose it, but that's okay. In time, it gets easier to breathe. I'd like to say that it gets easier, but it doesn't. You learn to live with it and try to live every day to the fullest.

It's hard to see other people with their parents at first. You've lost yours, and that never gets easier, either. You tell them to love their parent and never take them for granted because that's the only one they've got. Your faith is shaken for a while afterward. You think "Why me?" and you're angry at God because he took someone so important from you. You just kind of exist for what seems like a long time because you don't know how to go on, but in time you just do. You learn that life's unfair and that it doesn't wait for anyone; it keeps moving on. For me, the worst feeling is that she's missing out on everything in my life. She didn't get to see me in my prom dress, teach me how to drive, or comfort me after my first heartbreak. She won't get to see me at my wedding, meet the love of my life, or meet her grandkids. It tears me up that I can't call her for no reason other than just to tell her that I love her.

Once you lose them, nobody knows quite what to say, so they'll say things like "I'm so sorry for your loss" or " I'm praying for you and your family". They don't realize that it's not what you really want to hear. None of that is going to bring them back. Any holidays are rough at first and birthdays just aren't the same. Their death date is one of the worst days ever. I have to prepare a week in advance for it so thatI'll make it through the day.

I guess what I'm saying is that you never know when it's their time to go. You'll always wish for more time, but even then, you know it won't be long enough. Life throws you curve balls. You just have to learn how to hit them. As you go on, you'll start to hear people say that you look and act just like them, and you'll never be more proud of a compliment. You learn that it'll get easier to deal with, and you find that they never really leave you. Physically, they're gone, yes, but their spirit is still here. They'll find a way to let you know that they're okay and that you will be too.