When I first started my time at college, the idea of going out every Friday and Saturday night was unusual to me. I came from a small town and worked a job three out of the four years I was in high school. So this idea of partying and drinking on the weekends was nothing I was quite interested in or knew anything about. I spent most of my first semester buried into my studies and sport and worked hard to do the best I could in every class I was taking. But as the semester went on, I noticed a lot of opportunities to meet new people and make friends were slipping fast and I needed to get myself out there more.
I found myself going out on a Friday night dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, wondering where exactly I would fit in once I got to this so-called party I was going to. When the night ended, I found myself more conflicted on where I stood when it came to the idea of meeting in a centralized location to hangout with friends.
As time went on, I began to like the idea of going out on Friday nights because it was a chance to put myself out there, but as Friday nights passed so did my resistance to alcohol. At first I refused to drink, just wanting to gain friends but I soon learned that drinking and partying were connected. I began to drink to fit in and used it as a confidence booster and even a crutch for when I didn't know what to say or how to act. It may seem silly, but merely just the act of holding a can of beer in your hand without drinking a drop of it provides this sense of belonging in that sort of scene.
I felt lost after a couple of months of routinely going out on the weekends. I liked the people I was getting to meet, but I also felt like I was missing the real me as time went on. I have always been this quiet, shy girl and tended to be a lot more reserved than my siblings. But by the second semester, I found two good friends who helped me balance the fun and my usual self. They pushed me to get out of my comfort zone but they were always there to make sure I did it in a way that was respectful to myself and those around me.
From someone who lost sight of what is truly important and got lost in the idea of being someone else in order to make friends I have learned the importance of being my own person. I still struggle with this idea of being completely myself around new people, but it's easier knowing that I can still attend parties and not have to feel pressured to drink to have a blast with my friends.
I know for many, college is the time to experience life and live it up, but don't you want to remember it and not read it or see it on Facebook? There's a way to have fun in college for everyone and it's different for each and everyone of us. So find what works for you and so you don't have to lose who you truly are in the process.
