Rejection, in any aspect of life, is a fear that many of us suffer from. The thought of making ourselves open and vulnerable to getting hurt is scary and most of the time, we actively seek out ways to avoid being rejected.
I recently landed a job interview with a large lifestyle publication here in Seattle. It was a position that I had been seeking since I graduated with a company I have wanted to work for since I moved to this incredible city. During the few weeks before the interview, throughout the application process, I was a mess of emotions — I was nervous and excited and anxious and afraid and optimistic all at the same time. I believed that I finally had the opportunity to do something I had always dreamed of, and I wanted to believe that my time had finally come.
Fast forward a few weeks to January 18, the date of my interview. I had barely slept the night before and I had dreams of an undetermined outcome and my nerves were getting the best of me. I woke earlier than expected, managed to choke down a decent breakfast, and dressed in my most professional and confident outfit. I was fully committed to the idea that I had prepared as much as I possibly could and all that was left was to tell them why I was the best candidate.
Two hours later, as I walked down the bustling downtown streets, I found myself unable to grasp how it all went. My back was sweating but I felt at ease and I knew there was nothing left to do but wait for them to make a decision.
As I moved through the weekend — constantly checking my email, my phone locked in a death grip in my hand — I think I began to accept that there was a larger possibility that I wouldn't get the job. I started to talk myself down from the high I had been feeling throughout the process, the optimism that told me I would finally break into the population of employed Seattleites that I served every day at my restaurant job.
I would finally become one of them.
As Monday turned to Tuesday and I finally received that email, the one that told me that, while I was an extremely qualified candidate, they would be going in another direction, a wave of disappointment washed over me.
I had been rejected.
I felt smaller than I had ever felt before; I felt lost, with no idea what to do or where to go next. All of the optimism and the dreams that I had allowed myself to have felt so silly and superfluous — why didn't I see this coming?
It seems strange to think about all of this now, only a few days later, and feel so differently. I thought that I wasn't going to be able to find something that got me excited again, that an opportunity like this would never come around. I felt as if the world that I had so carefully been constructing was falling apart, piece by piece.
But now? How do I feel only a few days after being rejected by the very people I had been seeking to please?
Motivated.
I feel inspired to keep seeking out new and different opportunities, things I wouldn't have even considered before. I want to build a dream that I create for myself, not be defined by the rules that someone else lays out for me.
A few days after I lost out on that job, I was offered the role of Editor-In-Chief of Odyssey at the University of Washington, a position I have wanted for as long as I have been writing for the organization. New responsibilities and new goals for me to work hard and to achieve, a new opportunity for growth and leadership. And in the spring, I'll continue my role as an assistant to a wedding planner, pursuing a career I didn't know I would love.
I could have taken the rejection as a loss, as ravine I've crashed into on the road toward where I'm going. But what I've learned is that rejection is simply a speed bump, simply a moment where everything seems unsure. But with a strong sense of direction and determination, it will help you to find your path.
