First I want to tell you that I love you. I worry about you every day. Life can be so hard and lately it has been horrible for you. But you don't have to carry your burdens alone. You have a right to feel your pain as wholly and fully as you need to, but you don't have to distance yourself. I understand that if you need to be alone then you need to be alone but if you are hiding because you are scared of ruining my day then you have it all wrong. If you need me, then there is nowhere else in the entire world I'd rather be then next to you helping you with whatever you need.
I call you my friend, and that isn't a title I give out to just anyone. Friends affect who you are as a person, so I'm careful about who I surround myself with. In a friend I want someone caring, fun, kind, and someone who will have my back. I would never have called you my friend if I thought you were a bad person. I know it's hard to see your self-worth right now, but I know how special you are and if I could I'd let you see yourself through my eyes. You're the type of person who I am proud to point at and yell as loudly as I can, "That person is my friend!"
I can't pretend to know how you feel, but I see your pain. There has been so much pain and negativity in your life lately. If I could I would gladly take your pain from you and hide you from it. I know the pain is distorting the way you see the world and you feel alone. You aren't alone. You are cherished and you are loved. I am here for you, and I'm not the only one. You are so scared that everyone is going to leave you because people who were supposed to love you have left. But I won't. I swear to you that I will never leave you, especially when you are in pain. I will admit that I do have classes, work and other things that I have to turn my phone off during but know that even when I can't be there physically for you it doesn't mean I don't care or that you are unloved.
Part of the hurt that you feel comes from not knowing what to do. I don't have all the answers. I probably don’t have any of the answers. I can’t tell you what to do or how to react to things but I am here to listen and help in any way I can. I will offer my advice anytime I can and when I can't I'll offer my shoulder and some ice cream.
You are so strong. You've been through so much and you still fight. You inspire me friend. I love you and I will always have your back. There will always be hard times but you will never have to go through them alone.
Your loyal friend,
Celina Mylene Santana
