Today was the day. It was the day I woke up and knew something was going to be different. I didn’t know how or why, but eventually I did.
Every girl has these days… Days where we wake up feeling randomly inspired by something. Whether it’s seeing another Victoria’s Secret model wearing a brand new bikini and deciding we’re going to start eating better. Or whether it’s realizing that we need to put our needs over anyone else’s, no matter what promise some stupid boy makes to us.
No matter how many times women have these “days,” they don’t always act on them.
And that was me, your average eighteen-year-old still trying to get accustomed to college life while still being in love with the boy from back home. School work, parties, freedom. That’s what college is supposed to be, isn’t it?
Well for me, not only did last semester kick my ass, but it added fifteen pounds to it. I began questioning myself. Looking at the girl in the mirror, wondering where she went- physically, emotionally, mentally. Where was the girl that felt confident in her body? Where was the girl that didn’t allow one guy to dictate her aspirations? Where was the girl that put herself, her family and her dreams above all? Well, that random Thursday morning, she came back to life.
I now wake up every morning happy. Happy to see the world completely different than I used to. I wake up happy knowing I have a family that supports me, friends that love me and a beautiful life ahead of me. I wake up happy knowing I have new goals: I have a new study plan set for next semester along with daily schedules set aside for different workout plans. I have new programs I plan to schedule for my new resident assistant job. I have a bucket list of things I want to accomplish this upcoming school year. I got this.
Changing your lifestyle isn’t always the easiest. Especially when change involves being 1,059 miles away from home. However, with the proper mindset and friends by your side, it’s possible. In my case, having 160 sisters by my side truly impacted the way I thought and felt. No matter where it is, whether it’s in Florida or New Jersey, I know they’re always there for me. It’s the most gratifying feeling in the world and definitely the greatest gift I received from my freshman year at F.I.U.
Sometimes a reality check is exactly what you need, to get your head back in the right state of mind. Once the reality hit me of being away from home, having to conquer an entire new city and school alone, I understood. I knew I could no longer let the boy from back home get in the way of me and my dreams. I knew he didn’t deserve to have me at any moment he wanted. “I’ll never find anyone that loves me as much as he does,” I used to say to myself…
I was wrong. I know that the one person that will ALWAYS love me more than he does, is me.
So on my new adventure of conquering the three college years I have left, I’m choosing to leave him behind. Because for the first time, I know losing him is not as important as finding myself.
