There are many ways to "self-sabotage" during a painful period of healing. So, we're here to help point you in a more empowering direction. Here is a list of other important things to NOT to do after the ending of any relationship.
1) Don't Sacrifice Your Health
We have seen all those films: the girl with a broken heart crying as scarfs down an entire tub of ice cream while trying to forget her ex. Be kind to your body while your mind is mourning the breakup. Try as much as you can to stay active and keep moving. A focused mind won't idle on painful thoughts.
2) Don't Date Again Until You Feel Emotionally Ready.
"The best way to forget a man/ woman is to find someone else immediately" is age-old advice and can help you shift your focus, but it won't help you resolve underlying issues. Take your time.
3) Do NOT stalk his Facebook.
Try as hard as you can to not stalk his social media. Take back your power and decide what boundaries you need to set to feel better. This goes for mutual friends to. One of the hardest aspects of losing a relationship is losing friends is hard along with it. But, if it sucks to potentially see updates about him through mutual friends you can unfollow them and be transparent by letting them know what's up.
4) Do Not Tell "Your Story" To Everyone.
Try to restrain yourself. Do not tell everyone how much you've been hurt. It's so it can perpetuate the very feelings you're trying to escape from. Instead, write your thoughts down in your journal or diary and confide only in your closest friends. By continuing to search for the empathy of others with your story, you will spend more time moving forward, and then we do not want you to let your friends get dumped.
5) Don't Isolate Yourself ( This One Might Be The Hardest).
Don't become a hermit. Isolation is certainly a defense mechanism and might be a good idea at first. But, once you feel the slightest bit ready to return to society get out and get out in a big way. Go places you always wanted to go and see things you've always wanted to see. The world is your oyster and you get to do things on your own time now.
6) Don't Spend Too Much Time What-If-ing.
Consider your ex for what he really was and try not to obsess over what could've or should've been. This fictional and idealized vision can torment you after a break. Try your best to compartmentalize that experience and move forward.
7) Do not be satisfied with crumbs.
And, we mean don't be satisfied with anyone's breadcrumbs including your ex, and your friends. A relationship that didn't work out stands to help you rediscover what you're looking for and solidify your standards. Make this sad situation a lesson is asking for more and expecting it will show up.
