“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.” - Nicholas Sparks
A true but unfortunate reality is that growing up entails losing people. When we are young, transformations are constantly being made. This truth means that many of the individuals encountered will turn out to be temporary, even when bonds and promises have been made. Our new experiences, values and self discoveries are constantly impacting the way we relate to others. During this time in our growth, we begin to learn that love isn't enough to assume a relationship will be eternal or even healthy. While this recognition can free us from toxic friendships, it also means that we must experience significant losses. Even if we know with every fiber in our being that somebody is wrong for us, this in no way inhibits our love for them which can make letting them go extremely difficult.
This is an unfortunate part of our aging and it does not necessarily get easier with time. While this is a hardship that many of us will have to face more than once, know that if someone you allowed into your world once made you happy, the time spent together was not futile. At that time in your life, they may have been exactly what you needed. Perhaps you grew apart, met different people, or had clashing personalities that made you eventually feel like strangers. Before the drift in your relationship occurred, however, they were probably someone who made you laugh and feel extremely loved.
Losing people is hard, but you will move onward with the progression of time, with or without them. Every absence was most likely inevitable and beyond your control, and every one will be matched with support and love or lessons that you never could have imagined experiencing without your loss.
If you have recently lost somebody that you believed would surpass the amount of time they stayed in your life, trust that you met them for a reason. You now have the knowledge and life skills to survive any loss and can now better identify who the right people are for you. While difficult, this is freeing and will teach you many things about yourself that you could not have learned had you not lost that person. One day, you will be surrounded by so many loved ones that never make you doubt who you are or regret aspects of your personality that are true to your identity.
