Eighteen years would never be considered a long, fulfilled life in most cases. Eighteen years of life gets you barely to adulthood—just on the cusp of college. Eighteen years is far too short of a life to live, but in Joe Bauer's case, he made the most of his eighteen short years on earth.
I met Joe briefly in 2013, and to say that he was a friendly soul is a complete understatement. Joe was lively, creative, and had an overall love of life and people. He loved to play guitar, he loved to sing, and he wrote his own music. My fondest memories of Joe were all the times he would call me as he rode his skateboard home from work to "check in" on me. That's the kind of person Joe was. He was bravely charismatic. He had so many friends, but he had a way of making each and every one of his friends feel important and special. It wasn't until June of 2015 that I became close friends with Joe, and I wish I would have pursued it sooner, because our close friendship was cut short by his sudden death.
Joe and I didn't go to high school together, but we were supposed to be classmates this upcoming fall, as he was planning on attending Michigan State. In all of the noise this summer and excitement of college, everyone's lives came to a rushing halt at the news of Joe's suicide on July 29th, 2015. A sudden death of someone young is tragic on its own, and leaves room for grief and mourning, but a suicide leaves room for questions, doubt, anxiety and guilt.
After the initial state of shock, overwhelming sadness floods in, and the number one question all of Joe's friends and family have been asking themselves: Why did Joe take his own life? The most important thing to remember in the case of suicide is that Joe did not want to die. Joe was in such a deep state of depression that he felt no other escape. This kind of depression is difficult to wrap our minds around, because not very many people would have known of Joe's depression. Joe never spoke to me of being depressed, in fact, I thought he lived life to express the exact opposite. He always told people that he "lived free" and his smiley-face tattoo on his wrist was a general reminder to the world of the smiling demeanor we all saw.
After we begin to tackle the question of why, we come across thoughts of guilt. We wonder if we could have been there for Joe if we just knew of his pain. We wonder if we could have taken that pain away. We wonder if Joe would've just reached out to the people who loved him so dearly, maybe he would have found an escape from his pain and still would have remained on earth with us. The reality is, the suffering that comes with suicidal thoughts is often one that is complicated to understand, and considered to be a sickness. Joe was in the mental state where he didn't want to experience life anymore, and that mental state is hard to reverse. We should never feel guilt for Joe's death, or for anyone else's suicide. These things are difficult to mourn, and we should cherish the lives of those who have passed instead of feeling guilt for their deaths.
Cancer and heart disease account for the most years of life lost, but suicide follows these close behind. All of the facts and figures about suicide often don't mean much to us until we are affected by it personally, so I urge you to seek help for your friends or family if you see signs that they may be having suicidal thoughts. Eighteen years is too short of a life, and we should be the driving force behind preventing anyone else from losing their lives to a mental sickness too powerful.
Rest in peace eternally, Joey B. Smile among the angels, and sing with Morrison.
