When A Family Member Dies When You're In College | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Life Stages

Losing A Family Member Is Always Hard. When You're Away At College, It's Even Worse

But it helps you grow.

547
Losing A Family Member Is Always Hard. When You're Away At College, It's Even Worse

I woke up on a Sunday morning to a text from my mom asking how my night had been, with a simple request at the end for me to call her. I thought nothing of this because my mom and I are best friends and talk on the phone almost daily.

I picked up the phone and called her, still slightly dazed from my slumber. We chatted for a few minutes, she asked if my roommate was there, and I assured her that she had gone out for the day. She became quiet on the other side of the line and got that tone of voice when you know someone is about to deliver bad news. Death was not even on my mind; I just figured one of my family members who had been sick was just simply getting worse or hit with a terminal diagnosis. She told me that one of my uncles had unexpectedly died that morning.

I immediately wailed and fell to the ground of my dorm room floor.

I have dealt with a substantial amount of death in my life — my grandparents were all dead before I entered high school, my high school was shaken by a string of student and parent deaths during my four years there, and I have had at least two distant family members or family friends die a year. Death is something I just learned to accept because my family and I lost many people we knew when I was young.

But I had never felt this. I had never felt the sheer aloneness of being told that news without having those I know and love to share that struggle with me. I had my college friends but nobody to sit with me and actually understand my grief with me. While your friends may have also lost people and can sympathize with your grief, they can't understand your feelings about that particular person.

Unlike at home, there is no familiar support system to flee to. There is no private space that reminds you of that person that you can retreat to for solace.

Grieving someone and their life just isn't the same over the phone. I couldn't have anticipated the heartbreak that I felt sitting in my room crying, not able to just look at my mom and communicate everything we were feeling.

I wandered Uptown to the church I attend on campus and sat in one of the pews by myself and just cried. I had no idea what else to do, but my uncle had gone to the college I attend, so I felt like I could maybe feel his presence there. If nothing else, I knew I would feel God there.

Losing a family member while away at college is extra hard. It was the first time I had lost someone and was not able to grieve with my family. It's incredibly hard to get the closure you need when you cannot do that. But, it also helps you achieve just one more level of independence.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
ross geller
YouTube

As college students, we are all familiar with the horror show that is course registration week. Whether you are an incoming freshman or selecting classes for your last semester, I am certain that you can relate to how traumatic this can be.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

Bonus points if it is more than two.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

12 Things I Learned my Freshmen Year of College

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

4927
friends

Whether you're commuting or dorming, your first year of college is a huge adjustment. The transition from living with parents to being on my own was an experience I couldn't have even imagined- both a good and a bad thing. Here's a personal archive of a few of the things I learned after going away for the first time.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Economic Benefits of Higher Wages

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

303494
Illistrated image of people crowded with banners to support a cause
StableDiffusion

Raising the minimum wage to a livable wage would not only benefit workers and their families, it would also have positive impacts on the economy and society. Studies have shown that by increasing the minimum wage, poverty and inequality can be reduced by enabling workers to meet their basic needs and reducing income disparities.

I come from a low-income family. A family, like many others in the United States, which has lived paycheck to paycheck. My family and other families in my community have been trying to make ends meet by living on the minimum wage. We are proof that it doesn't work.

Keep Reading...Show less
blank paper
Allena Tapia

As an English Major in college, I have a lot of writing and especially creative writing pieces that I work on throughout the semester and sometimes, I'll find it hard to get the motivation to type a few pages and the thought process that goes behind it. These are eleven thoughts that I have as a writer while writing my stories.

Keep Reading...Show less
April Ludgate

Every college student knows and understands the struggle of forcing themselves to continue to care about school. Between the piles of homework, the hours of studying and the painfully long lectures, the desire to dropout is something that is constantly weighing on each and every one of us, but the glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel helps to keep us motivated. While we are somehow managing to stay enrolled and (semi) alert, that does not mean that our inner-demons aren't telling us otherwise, and who is better to explain inner-demons than the beloved April Ludgate herself? Because of her dark-spirit and lack of filter, April has successfully been able to describe the emotional roller-coaster that is college on at least 13 different occasions and here they are.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments